The door creaked and you slipped in
Tip-toeing your way through the darkness
To my sleeping body
Watching me breathe in and out.
You put the gun to my head
And my eyes flashed open
As you pressed the cold metal to my temple.
"Daddy don't. Please daddy don't do it."
You grinned, that infectious smile that captured the hearts of the others.
You laughed, it stills echoes in my head...
You tapped the gun on my head,
"You don't deserve a life. You're such a waste."
The tears flooded my face
And you tapped me again.
"You're so weak."
I choked on my words
I wanted to say how much I hate you.
But it won't come out.
I began to scream.
You covered my mouth with your disgusting hand.
How dare you touch me with your filthy limbs.
The limbs that involve themselves in your gambling schemes.
You're so greedy.
You leaned over and whispered,
"Not a word or I'll kill you and your sister."
I nodded furiously, I understood.
Three years later,
I can say these words.
They hurt.
And I bled.
And I cried.
But I'm alright now.
Yes, I'm fine.
You're dead and gone.
And I still have my life.
[That gun sits in my car]
Author notes
Option: Abuse - 2 Physical Emotional/Verbal. Mothers, Fathers, Relatives.
*Sigh* It always hurts to tell this story.
In a list
A contest entry
- Prewrite contest by Sadistic klown girl.
1000 points, ended June 2, 155 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Angry Contest! by Miss Macabre.
400 points, ended June 20, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie PREWRITES!!! by Maggie Kay.
400 points, ended June 27, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options; lots of by Girl With Guitar.
600 points, ended July 18, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make God Hide In Fear by WideEyedSuicide.
400 points, ended July 24, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your favourite poem! by forbidden-colour.
550 points, ended July 8, 142 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Um... I don't know what to say. My stomach feels really weird after I read this. It grabbed me in, spun me around, and left me dizzy with emotion.
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a poetic story told by you is like reading one of the most sad, eye-widening, breath takingly emotional, heart and mind capturing piece
ever
of the history
of AP.
"You grinned, that infectious smile that captured the hearts of the others."
&&
"How dare you touch me with your filthy limbs.
The limbs that involve themselves in your gambling schemes.
You're so greedy."
your feelings and honesty drove these lines to pure reality and fantastic, simplistic diction. you told it like you saw how it was.
and you saw
how it was,
with so much feeling.
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Oh holy shin splints. i'm speechless. this is familiar. not as in i've read it elsewhere however i lived this way. things that happen like this are not to be and never will be forgotten. this is one of the first poems on this site that i've read in my 9yrs at allpoetry that i recall making me cry. it brings back both the pain and sense of relief that i got from my father passing. thats a funeral i didn't mind ou attending.
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wow.
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Oh my god......
This poem is the most powerful poem I have ever read. It has kind of a fast energy feeling to it like Quintin Tarrintino movies. I know I spelled that wrong. But It was powerful and awesome. You are a powerful person. Power to the peaceful. ~Daina
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Oh damn. The applause didn't work. >_<
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I already made a comment on this one. But it kills me each time.
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Hurtful, I guess it is appriate to say that some people should not be parents.
Isn't it silly, people can take tests to drive a car yet they dont have to to bring a life into this world?
I applaud you for your strength.
Thank you for entering.
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Wow, that's awful, I can't believe anyone could do that to someone.
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Rahh. I love the ending. Sorry, but I really do. You wouldn't believe how many times I've gone to kill my own father. I just want to cut him, remove some things and torture the shit out of him then kill him.
And now the cops will come to my door.... HAHA.
This is a little rough for the first few stanzas, but it strengthens. The twist at the end is absolutely fantastic, very good work. Thanks for the entry. -
This is amazing. *bows before you* I am so sprry this happened to you, but this is an amazing piece.
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Wow! Epitome of Divine Brillance with a twist.
Way to redefine the word Masterpiece! This was a brilliant write. I'm so sorry you ever had to go through anything like that,. This was soul shattering, and I'm sorry to say you understand those feelings. I tried to convey these same feelings once, in my own poem "Music Of Love"....*Gives pen* I am ashamed to call myself a writer or a poet after reading the way you did this. *hugs*
this was a very powerful, emotional, intruiging, and geniusly penned write. Great job hun! And if you ever need someone to talk to or anything don't be a stranger.
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wow!
sad
but a very powerful write !
keep it up
kmp -
SO SAD!!!!!!!
This is one heartwrenching story but it is also one which is becoming more and more common in this cruel world.
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SOULCRUSHING!
Wow! That was a very brave and honest piece! I write alot personal shit, but I couldn't even consider writing about such a personal event in my life to this degree. I sincerely salute you for such a courageous poem and not only for writing it, but then posting on a site for others to read and critique is even more brave of you. I'm very impressed by such a sharing of life from you to us (your readers & reviewers). The only thing I would say is try not to simplify your detailing to much because regardless of the concept your reader if easily distracted may pull away and stop reading. However, still a pretty damn good poem. Awesome write!
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Dot. Dot. Dot. Wow.
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wow that was really intense. We have MUCH in common..except mine was an abusive gambling step father..check out another hand folded and silence..some others too...thanks for submitting this. I'm going to check out some more from you
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A good poem, more about abuse then fuck you but it's still a good write. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you!
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this is a seriously good remembrance poem, in everyway, but especially that you have boiled it down to a severe essence, real moments hidden behind a cold veil held by your strong arms just off the nerve endings. really well done. and that you have done it very lyrically, which i imagine means you have been kneading this one in your hands over and over till it took the consistency you could view with understanding and acceptance. i find it a humbling, quiet poem, and i expect, and hope, you feel some freedom, comfort, and great strength knowing you survived it well. a warm hug of congratulations on your bravery Matt, and that you feel sunshine in your world. a most impressive poem indeed, a gleaming trophy made from the past's garbage.
mark -
I'm glad you shared this Matt... it made me cry. Like I've said before, you've been through so much shit, but it just shows that you're so strong, and such a wonderful person. You didn't deserve that at all and it upsets me that you had to endure it. My poor sonneh
Luffs you!
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It must have been very hard for you to put this to paper but you did a wonderful job with it, it is very well written, not too direct but subtle which is very important I think in this kind of story...it did touch me deep inside, I felt with you and I'm glad that all of it is over now...
take care
Suza
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wow, I'm very sorry, I'm glad you have an outlet.
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W.O.W
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Leaves a lot for the imagination. That's good.
A little bit of hope in the ending.
Thanks for entering.
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wow this is awesome it tells a horrible story but the poem is awesome I am sorry this hurt you so much and that it happened to you. Thank you for sharing this poem and the emotions behind it. Telling the story is part of the healing
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Wow i'm really sorry this happened hun. Wish you the best of luck in your life. Thank you for sharing this delightful poem. And thank you for entering.
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Thank you. All of you. For the comments and applause. Thank you.
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painful memories, good poem
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I can't feel what you feel. It's like I'm watching this happen. I can't help you, and nothing I say now will change it.
But you must have skills for going through this and still being perfect enough for Ame.
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WOW! this is such a heartfelt write. it told such a tragic story. i'm sorry this happened to you. this is really painful!
keep the faith alive, and i'm glad you're okayy now!
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wot cuckoo said
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two words
fucking dead beat cunt
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this was real. o my im sorry. But i really like this poem
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Thanks
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