My breath's siphoned ,
and they took it
the words and all
those poesy misers
all consumed
the glimpse of my birth
a peek of growth
of my history
not censored by
a thing adored
but stripped its bloom
in selfish grasp
for other's view-
And time ticks to
the pit
and pendulum
its rapture
the beginning
to biting end-
Stolen bits
cost naught to share
trusting the invite,
coveted still
encrypted rape
of the heart!
Author notes
(Dearest writers...protect your heart!)*Referencing those who covet the true artist's written word!
Written March 22nd, 2002
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There are so many ways to have the heart deceived. The artist is most vunerable and most at prize as well. I understand what you mean. I have been hoodwinked on several occassions. I have learned to be my own agent, and self-publich my works. It is odd, I feel nothing but trust here at AP among the artists that write . There are not too many places that I share as I do here. You are gems. I pray I never feel a misttrust on this site. We are a peculiar bunch, and that is good.
Thank you for your comments on my contest entry. Sprite is a dear and I am so honored to have won, to have even placed. That is my life though, from the beginning of asking God what my purpose is til now...
Much Love,
Renee
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ROCK ON!
very well written indeed,
I liked this alot
It was full of quite a bit of emtoin
you did an excelent job
keep up the great writes
ash -
stripped its bloom
in selfish grasp
for other's view-
encrypted rape
of the heart!
I felt I was chewing at the bit and then looking for a spit-pot. Isn't that what they do to that nasty stuff? Great discriptions as usual, Cookie. Always an inspiration
~Mary O
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Wow cookie this is powerful I love it, My husband is home so I have to leave grrrr
Red -
don't touch it!
rape of the heart... seems as if the emotions were ravaged, chewed up and spat back in your open palm... simply asking for another to hold onto. a horrible feeling to feel, that is if i've grasped this correctly. a bit hard to follow, but i can awlays blame that on my dad blasting a monty python episode right next to me.. haha. wonderful job here, nice little disclaimer at the beginning also. i love your work, keep it up! -
neutral
revision, eh? seems that just a stanza break and 'warning' were your changes.
it was definitely a worth-while change. i read the poem and was impressed with a meaning much like the one you had intended. (that warning really clues you into the proper mind-set for reception of this)
almost embarassed to see how 'off' my initial response was.
again, i think that the revision helps to prep us for a better conveyance of your intended message.
it's interesting to see this less-structured format from you. i've grown quite accustomed to your control of meter and rhyme and format. -
don't touch it!
WHEW girl, that just blew me away.Nothing wrong with your eyesight is there? -
I wasn't quite sure either what it meant...but it's a great expression, and sometimes it is hard for the reader to interpret the feelings and emotions of the poet..very nicely done nonetheless!!
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It is meant to suggest the exploitation of our artistic endeavors --some stealing them for the vanity schemes, anthologies, not for its claim to fame, but its sad renouncing of the sincere intention of the poet or artist!.
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i'm sensing some sort of betrayal. could be completely off base, but that's what i've taken from this piece. once again, it is very pleasing to the ear and deserves to be 'voiced'. very nice piece.
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