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My Last Lullaby

Verse #1

I take my time, hard to believe that you’re still breathing,
My tissue’s soaked, and I can’t stop tearing
You look so cold and grey, but you’re smile’s warm, as if you’re still awake,
What a God damn miracle that would take

I try to get a hold of you; oh God, just let me through


Verse #2

I hear your heart beat slowly, but these machines could never hold you down, forever
I try to just get by, but I can’t help to choke at the sight of empty eyes,
Can’t stand to say goodbye

I wish to come in after you; oh God just let me through


Chorus

You’re holdin’ on, but you’ll never find your way back home again,
I’m sorry, but this is where the story ends
I hold you near, but your mind is somewhere far from here
My love for you is far too great to show, but it’s time to let go now


Bridge

Our moment’s gone, and it hurts to move along,
But the second chapter of the end, is waiting to begin


Chorus

You’re holdin’ on, but you’ll never find your way back home again
I’m sorry, but this is where the story ends
I hold you near, but your mind is somewhere far from here
My love for you is far too great to show, but it’s time to let go now

Author notes

A song about pulling the plug, call me weird but i thought of all the lyrics in the shower :/ commentt

Genre: Ballad

A contest entry

Speak Your Mind

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • Evinde
    November 18
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    Edit | Reply
    I think up a lot of songs in the shower, don't worry haha. This was amazing... I really love the pain and hopelessness mixed with hope, if that makes sense. Great write.


  • Fire-Fly
    November 10
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Ooooh, I just noticed you entered one of my comps with this poem some months back - it's still a good one!!


  • Graciee
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    Its so good! I love the fact that you have written it as a song, and I really enjoyed reading this piece, thanks for the entry, and good luck!!

    Graciee

  • catstar
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is amazing! I love it. I was making up a melody in my head has I read it. This really captured my imagination. Thanks for sharing. Fantastic write.


  • BurningYouAlive
    September 20

    Edit | Reply
    I always think in the shower, and I manage to come up with some really good lines and stuff to use...
    but by the time I'm out, I forget =P.
    Good thing you remembered though, because what I come up with isn't close to this.


  • Jocelyn.Jaded
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this reminds me of my favorite band[: really great lyrics. Again, I'd listen to this if it was song. Another great write by you, heh. ;;


  • Borntowriteforever
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    very emotional.. doesnt matter where you came up with it.. its just as good as if you came up with it while sleeping.
    well done


  • Calandra Jane
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    Emotional..the words really get to me. Nicely written.


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is sad. Hard to believe you came up with this in the shower... I never think of anything this good in the shower. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • kaitlyn-love
    June 14
    Edit | Reply
    This has alot of raw emotion in it, you have a way with words, I really liked this.

  • xahhxitsxrachel
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    hah ive thought of stuff in the shower to but it makes me mad to wait to write them down
    this was really good though


  • Alive4aLiving
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad.. a good write though, good job!!


  • alaska.
    June 7
    Edit | Reply
    i just realized you are in a lot of the same contests as me. hahaha.
    nice job. again. (:


  • XxXSilentlyDyingXxX
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is GREAT!!!
    I loved it,
    Its really reeally
    powerful,
    This is a great great song,
    Sincerly~XXXBloodyRazorXXX


  • sweetheart117
    June 5

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is amazing!!! i love it and you are a great writer! never stop okay? promise me that? i would love to talk to you sometime and to get to no you and how you write so good lol


  • stop a bullet
    June 5

    Edit | Reply
    this is so ahmazing.. there is so much emotion written into is.. it made me want to cryy. as for being thought of in the shower.. well.. if it works. :]


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    It is a very nice lyrical write. I could see it in there and the emotion within it. Thank you for sharing this write. You did a gtood job with it.

  • Evinde
    May 31
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh, it's very simple but it almost made me cry, it is full of emotion. You have a wodnerful way of writing that makes the reader feel what you're trying to convey


  • ladybug.
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is very passionate. I would love to hear what it sounds like with a tune as well, but as a poem it works too. Thank you for entering, love.


  • JeremyWilliams
    May 29

    Edit | Reply

    Judges Verdict

    Great song and lots of emotion but unfortantily really not what i was looking for sorry im going to remove you from the contest this is a little to depressing


  • xXbroken lullabyXx
    May 29
    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing!


  • sophia moonfairy
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    Well I have a few things to say about this. I'm not really good with expressing myself but this is truly amazing. I mean this song is so beautiful yet so sad. Filled with pain and sorrow. Filled with love and passion. I loved how you wrote the song. You are very talented. I could feel the emotion as I sang on! Very brilliant lines <3 for something thought up in the shower. I think while being in the shower sometimes it's natural everyone does it. Even if they don't like to admit it anyway my favorite part of the song was

    " I hear your heart beat slowly, but these machines could never hold you down forever
    I try to just get by, but I can’t help to choke at the sight of empty eyes,
    Can’t stand to say goodbye

    I wish to come in after you; oh God just let me through"

    Such beautiful words I really enjoyed reading this. Keep up the amazing work!

    - Maria ♥


  • painfully amazing
    May 27
    Edit | Reply
    =[ this is so sad
    amazingly written
    ♥


  • Guerrero
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    wow.. um .. ya this was something. it made my throat close and tears well up. this is amazing. i totally would love to hear this. wow


  • EmbraceTheJourney
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    I am adding you to my favorite list. I love your songs so so much.

  • Judith Chandler
    May 21
    Edit | Reply
    Unusual take on the prompt. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • borrowing.moonlight gold member
    May 21
    Edit | Reply
    indeed you said a lot here, and i found myself captivated with your story. thank you for entering


  • trekkergirl
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    You said that this is a song... I really don't feel qualified to comment a lot on songs... I don't write them and don't really understand how to write them. However, I do know what I like and don't. I do like your imagery. I like your emotion in this.

    You did well as far as I am concerned. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.

  • Fire-Fly
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    I think this would be very effective as song lyrics. You've done a good job with them.

    Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest.


  • Sunkissed xo
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. this is incredible.
    Really well-written with great emotion! This will make an awesome song Keep up the great work!

1 - 30 of 30