Starting something you cannot finish.
Completing what should have never begun.
Beginning to accept responsibility for you.
I have found a place inside of myself that
is so contaminated, so unsure, so abandoned
That I cannot find a way back to laughter.
A spot where old men go to die
An infinite sigh, a twilight sky
For the first time in my life
I have realized why I have -
- avoided letting go of you...
My last poem was in the middle of everything.
commendably unloyal to itself, my body, its -
- structure -- Failing and selfish
So much promised,
but totally compromised.
Forgivably late, 'it' like me,
is thoroughly conclusive,
and in, of itself, lacking
a reason to be.
Author notes
Written March 11th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- my last anyone can enter and pezzz do by Myth Of Twilight.
553 points, ended November 11, 2006, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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this poem rocked i truly liked it a real pece of work thnx for entring and best of luck in my contest
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loved the idea, concept of this poem....I see a congratulation up there, wow, that is so cool. You deserve it. If I catch your drift right, it is a difficult write, to go back to the middle of yourlife, yourself....pretend all is well or seeing the beginning of the end, "shaka when the walls fell". Then to write, an honest write.....conjure the emotions of the day and remember.....ahhh...my cynicism always pervades and the bitterness then felt......finds the heart of the soul that was me.......I think I'm done going back...looking there amongst the ashes and burnt bridgess. -Darmok
wonderful poem -
Very nice poem keep it up
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Very nice job, I really liked this piece. It has a great message and you chose your words with great care. Everything went together very well.
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swam!
you got so many comments, my doesnt make a big diff, but your wording is dazzling! -
Congratulations on the second place- and for writing yet another gem! Beautifully illustrated- absolutely!
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I thought it would be interesting, because this was like
the closest thing to a suicide note or epitaph I've ever gotten
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Thanks for entering this in my contest! I find this poem to be a bit lengthy for an epitaph, but it is certainly made up for in the language you used in this. The pauses in this piece made things read quite well. Good luck!
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I agree with Ramnesi... Great write... Very good word choices and a great flow to it... Keep up the good work!!!! and NEVER stop writing!!!! Oh yeah... and Good luck in the contest!!!!
~PS~ -
This is a wonderfully written poem. You did a beautiful job on this poem.
I cannot pick a favorite paraghraph. This poem was so well written, there is no vulnerable point and no point that is stronger. Good luck in the contest.
~RanMan~
Edited on Jan 24, 4:04 p.m. because ''. -
Yes
You always do that. You go and write something that is so over my head in so many ways.
It is good as I am sure you well know.
Thank you for entering.
God bless you. -
very good i was starting to feel lost just reading it
very well done best luck in the contese -
hey thats awesome great job
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For all the whiny ass shit you can read that is so forced, illicited, while walking away with no reaction at all- to something so soul searing as the work of Horus8. I feel empty now. All the sadness in my heart and spaces stripped from my soul are ... down... Empathy breeds...need for bowl...I thank you.
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This makes me dance! It ish be completely awesomenesslike and it tish have a spazzy spazzy twitchy twitchy (in a good way) setup and ... such. I think we all have a reaon to be, I just haven't found mine yet (and probably never will) but you're still funfilledlikeandsuch (naha one word *giggle giggle, chuckle chuckle*) and you make my life worth living! Toodles!
~Shanna Banana -
i was going to write a comment here....
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A brilliantly composed piece. Passionate and emotional feeling are felt as I read each line. You have an amazing way of expressing your honest self. Very well written indeed.
Sam
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Very good and i love the words and the flow of it.. Really well put together.. And i know of that spot but there is a way to get out of it i did.. Keep it up very nice write
Todd -
At Karamu we have a saying,"don't finish something that you can't start" I feel you. Good work!
Renee
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This was an incredible poem. Very well written with every wrod you chose.
God Bless
Jenna -
feels like, trying to find your footing in the dark, and suddenly stepping down in mud, where you sink, and sink..and sink...
where old men go to die
-all i see here, are small, curled up little men, long beards, eyes frozen..looking up...but dead. (if that makes sense)
... pretty.
but sad.
Nyx... -
not a bad poem. you would be a good poet if you didn't have that cock in your ass.
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I feel this poem. It feels like me in "mid-stomp." Not quite a stomp, but a start with no where to go. Like when you get ready to stomp, but then wonder why you were gonna stomp. And in the end it isn't really a stomp. Just you setting your foot back on the ground. I know, blah blah blah... Interesting piece. It stokes emotions for me.
*stomps -
Time to give your inner child a hug? I dunno...
Another wonderful & gorgeous write. These are the sorts of things most people are afraid to write about. The presence of soul here is one of the things that elevates your work.
(Yes, you Pink Fluffy Poets, you should look at your own lack of self-honesty and feel shame.) -
oh the letting go of yourself thing...sorry i am thick sometimes..well most of the time actually....
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The you is me, but I catch your meaning.
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Aww.. you're last..
you're brilliant and always will you be.. I hope this absence of poems doesn't last.. i love your work.. Latears* Jessie
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never once did i doubt your brilliance. i'm glad.
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brill
lacking a reason to be ...a place abandoned that cannot find its way back to laughter...i got a place like that..its massive its always popping up unexpectedly and frightening the living daylights out of me. oh well its what personalities are based on isnt it? ...fear...to be conscious of being conscious and of being alive is terrifying..we are in the bodies of aliens lol . got to say i was disappointed with that line 'i have avoided letting go of you' it just didnt seem to fit in or i think you said it before and anyway i liked it with just the solitary you...but thats just my trumped up opinion for tonight and another night i might feel different so i hope you will forgive the upstartedness of mere me...anyway i think it is a very endearing pom poem that is lovely and oooh look you have chosen my favourite background just to underline how cute your pom is...is it the thinker in elf land...
Edited on Mar 11, 6:44 p.m. because ''. -
Tho it is fucked, finding out what is inside is a good thing. I feel your pain and wish to take it all away. By now I would think I have no more room for sorrow and pain but I still have lots of room for more.
Hugs, Tisha
Edited on Mar 11, 4:10 p.m. because ''. -
Well very well put together although I disagree, you dont lack a reason to be. This is a good piece.
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