"My Fault" (1999)

I Remember The Day You Moved In
You Were Just A New Face
Right Across The Alley
Where You Lived In Your New Place
I Never Really Saw You Much
Because I Was Always Up In My Room
I Didn't Really Care
You Were Just Some Kid I Assumed
Every Time You Saw Me
You Tried To Say "Hi"
But I Ignored You
And Just Walked By
I Saw You
Just About Every Single Day
You Sat In The Grass Of Your Backyard
With Some Toys At Play
But The Day I Talked To You
Was The Day I Was Taking Out The Garbage
When You Got Your Frisbee
Stuck On My Garage
I Got It Off
And Finally We Met
You Thanked Me
And Gave Me A Matching Bracelet
Soon After I Went To My Room
And Put The Bracelet On My Shelf
I Knew You Remind Me Of Someone
You Remind Me Of Myself
I Turned On The TV
But Still I Thought Of You
I Don't Know Why
And You Looked A Lot Like Me Too
The Next Day I Was Walking Home After School
I Saw You Sitting Under The Tree
I Was About A Block Away
You Ran Up To Me
I Dropped My Backpack Off At My Place
We Did That Everyday After School
Just To Come Back Out And Play
Because You Were Pretty Cool
I Loved You Like A Brother
I Taught You Almost Everything I Know
You Looked Up To Me
You Told Me I Was Your Hero
Maybe Not In Those Words
But I've Never Been A Hero To Someone
It's A Feeling You Can't Describe
I Treated You Like My Own Son
But It Was Weird
Since Your Only Six Years Old
But We Still Had A Lot Of Fun
A Part Of Me Has Unfold
I Took You Places I Went
When I Was Your Age
I Remember Doing The Same Things With My Hero
It's Like Turning Back A Page
Every Time I Went To The Store
I Took You With  Me
Because You Couldn't Miss Out On The Fun
I Even Taught You How To Climb Your First Tree
I Didn't Hang Out With My Friends
As Much As I Did
I Hung Out With You Instead Of Them
But It Was Worth It
I Helped You Build A Club House
I Took You To Get Ice Cream
We Did Almost The Same Thing Every Single Day
We Were Already Brothers It Seemed
It Never Got Boring
We Did Anything You Liked
I Taught You How To Play Hacky Sac
And How To Ride A Bike
You Act Just Like I Did
It Was Like Watching Myself Grow Up All Over Again
Since You Resembled Everything Like I Was
I Always Thought The Fun Would Never End
You Were Pretty Smart For Someone As Old As You
So Was I When I Was That Young
We Always Had Something To Do
Your Mom Didn't Really Like You Hanging Out With Me At The Beginning
Because I Was Ten Years Older
But Soon After I Was Babysitting
Sometimes After You Got Out Of School
I Would Walk You Home
We Would Go Everywhere To Roam
You Use To Tell Me
What You Wanted To Be When You Got Older
Like An Astronaut Or Pilot Or Someone On T.V.
But Most Of All
You Wanted To Be Just Like Me
It Was Always Nice To Hear That
For Nearly A Year, We'd Always Hang Out
We Went Downtown And Had Walks In The Rain
We Found Out What It’s All About
You Were Practically Growing Up To Be Me
We Went To The Beach
Arcade, And Sometimes Library
And We Use To Play Hide And Go Seek
Playstation And Other Fun Things
It Was Great
I Wish I Could Do It All Over Again
But My Biggest Mistake
You Asked Me To Ride Our Bikes
While It Was Still Light
And I Said I Can't
How About Later Tonight
Because My Friend's Asked Me To Go To The Movies
You Looked So Hurt And You Looked So sad
Like I Broke Your Heart
But I Told You It Wasn't That Bad
I'll Be Gone For Only A Little While
So We Said Our Goodbyes
I Walked Away And Looked At You Beside Your Bike
With A Tear In Your Eye, I Got Ready To Leave
I Knew I Shouldn't Go
Everything Will Be Alright
But What Did I Know, I Left Anyways
As The Car Pulled Away
There You Were, Riding Up The Street
I Thought, He'll Be Ok
It Wasn't The Same Without You
My Mind Was Bent
I Wasn't Use To Being With Other People Again
Everything Was Different
I Thought To Myself
He's Just A Little Kid
I Should Of Stayed
But Everything I Did
Seemed To Not Block My Memory Of You
When The Movie Was Over
We Drove Home
Then All Of A Sudden
I Felt So Alone
I Pulled In The Driveway
I Opened The Door
I Saw An Ambulance Down The Street
Then I Saw A Little More
I Shut The Car Door
And Walked To The End Of The Block, Slowly
Before I Took Another Step, I Looked Down
And There Was A Bike Pulled Up To A Tree
I Don't Breathe
I Just Stare
Should I Look Over
Do I Dare
I See What Forms A Little Child
Laying On A Stretcher Bed
With A White And Damped Red Sheet
Over His Head
I Feel My Chest Collapse
As A Hand Sways Down
I Get Tears In My Eyes
As A Bracelet Slips Off To The Ground
I Ran To The Body
Uncovered His Face
Suddenly My Body
Is Filled With Waves
I Touch Your Forehead
And In My Mind Is All Our Memories Stored In A Vault
It Shatters, And I Think
It's All My Fault
That's Why I'm Here
Sitting At Your Tombstone
I Buried Your Bracelets Here
At Your Eternal Home

By Justin Michael Milani