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untitled as yet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she calls him the moon

he asks if it is because he is encompassing

she explains it is because he is light

 

 

___

 

 

 

she writes
and he sees himself
in the wind

in shifting tide

in a white gull-feather blown free across sand

wind is the lusty element she explains

 

he smiles
recognizing himself in her terms

there are other elements
he offers
fire, rain, earth

maybe i'm earth

she laughs
and responds

inside
the earth of my hand your winds blow

skies balanc
e

 

 

 

 

___

 

 

 

 

 

when she questions

he answers quietly, in terms she might understand

                                        because it is so


 

____

 

 

 

 

night is long
she writes

longer and longer still
he replies

his heart nestled birdlike 

in her palm

i am not the man you
think i am he muses

here,

she opens her fingers
is your heart in my hand


















m

In a list

A contest entry

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    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 47 of 47

  • parenchma
    August 29
    Edit | Reply
    Title suggestion:
    Alchemy


    • Cat
      August 29
      Edit | Reply
      thanks.. untitled as yet is actually the title though...


  • doyouloveit
    June 29

    Edit | Reply

    High Five

    You wrote this amazing poem on my birthday and though this is my first time to read your work im honored to know someone wrote a kickass poem on my b-day You rock and so does your writing congrats on your gold very well deserved!!


  • Sesheta
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    The interaction of "he" and "her" in this is stunning. The words you use, the phrases, the little asides; it all makes for a phenomenal read. Thank you for sharing. The gold was well-won.

  • your writing is so stunning and what a beautiful piece for this contest. saying my mouth opened in awe wouldn't even tell you how far my jaw dropped. congratulations on the gold. it wouldn't befit another entry. this stands far above...
    glad i read. thank you.

  • I want to be him...

    much more I could say, but it says it all... I want to be him.

    Hold my heart like a baby bird
    gently protective
    but loose
    so I can spread my wings
    and grow and fly
    so I may soar
    with the wind of your love
    then return
    bringing you a cloud
    upon which
    we lay our hearts



    Guess I said more.
    Buddy


  • Oleander
    May 16
    Edit | Reply

    Haunting

    I really fell in love with these lines. Good work.

  • Breathtaking

    I've been through this. Almost the exact same. It's a beautiful piece.


  • LadyRay
    May 13

    Edit | Reply

    omg I almost cried.

    This is really beautiful. I had to read it a second time.

    "here,
    she opens her fingers
    is your heart in my hand"

    Best line ever.....
    You capture human emotions perfectly.
    I must read more from you!



  • senator
    May 13
    Edit | Reply

    Mesmerizing

    because it is so...... I love that, sounds very strong and persuasive..... T


  • you know there's something that really bothers me:
    will one day people cease smiling and simply exclaim lol?
    seems to me human nature needs screens,
    projections, reflections, a devil who will always say "do what you want", a home who will always reply "go get the garbage out", a child who would always make the pet suspect as cause for allergies, an art who can always be shut down or locked in a canvas or book...
    and it makes me wonder, like a talk show host presumes, all the time: is it the night fashionable long enough?

  • "she calls him the moon

    he asks if it is because he is encompassing"
    Excellent start.

  • "she calls him the moon

    he asks if it is because he is encompassing"
    Excellent start.

  • Weighing in and happy to read this first as I begin the long trek through the entries.
    I've read this a number of times and have to echo Al in regards to the perfection of the parts. All of it becoming a liquid flow of elegance and quiet power.

    She knows him better than he knows himself (here is your heart in my hand)and he is no dummy (because it is so).

    This is exactly what I wanted.
    One work of art to inspire another. Something transcending description.

    This is a high benchmark to meet dear Cat...let's see how close the others can come.

    Thank you for entering my contest.
    It becomes Major League now.

    D


    • Cat
      May 12
      Edit | Reply
      Yay! I'm just glad i followed through and entered. You know your picture was stunning and I had to write.


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    nobody does vignettes as well as you, this is wonderful...

    i've always marveled at how you keep your same strong voice as you move from one to the next and how the end is always greater than the sum of its parts, remarkable...

    reading this is like watching a gifted dancer move across a stage


    al


    • Cat
      May 12
      Edit | Reply
      Al,

      What a beautiful comment. Thank you. Now go take your turn on scrabble.

      m

  • Rowan gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    I hate to sound repetitive, but I can't think of another word besides; soulfully stunning. Oh... that's two words. lol.


  • Jersene gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    stunningly beautiful

    I second tara, and whomever started that second list.

    • Cat
      May 12
      Edit | Reply
      thanks Jersene..
      We have to get that room hopping again..

  • that second list that this poem is in is so true.
    it's always a pleasure to read you Mary, it's as if i'm in a bookstore reading a poem from a book of poetry....

    this is so beautiful..i love the poetic dialogue..it's as if it's said so quietly.


  • dewfall
    May 11
    Edit | Reply

    sigh sigh sighingly sighsigh


  • Balldinger silver member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply

    her terms...

    i'm takin' a liking to this style of yours that everyone's been whispering about the past 7 hours. its impermanance gaits impressively across the backside of the best front pieces. even if she does appear to have him wrapped around fingers, maybe it's best for her to be unable to grab whatever she wants. fine lines, indeed, Cat...

    • Cat
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      it is never best for her to be unable to grab whatever she wants...


      • Balldinger silver member
        May 11
        Edit | Reply
        then perhaps she should keep her fingers unwrapped and free to grab... can she have it both ways? wine and hand grenades should fix it just fine...


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    simply beautiful poetry, mary - love this one. each vignette is a little gem. i also liked the light and the light, soft touch here - and of course birds and hands...two of my favourite things in poetry!

    stunning write. isn't the heart but a bird and love it's only sky...?

    ~ Nicolette

    • Cat
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      maybe you should write all my titles..

  • title suggestion:

    force of nature

    just a thought
    love the element play

    • Cat
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      actually... the untitle.. is the title.

    • title suggestion
      baby go boom banga bang
      and choo choo chooooose
      yearrrrrrrgh
      grrrrrrrrrr
      urrrrrrgggghhhhh
      all over the freakin place already

      but people says im crazy see
      that boy aint right
      he aint right
      noooo way hose
      and i say

      go talk to hose b
      cos hose a din wanna hear that
      mmmmm

      somesing

  • Wow!! I am in awe.
    Have you been published at all?
    Cause if not the world is missing out.

    • Cat
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      not really, but i hope to change that very soon.


  • Night Hope gold member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply

    Gorgeous. That's all.




  • love the conversation
    feels like eavesdropping
    voyeuristic

  • When I read you I almost become part of the life of the poem, this one is too personal to be inside it, rather a moth drawn to its light and softness. C

1 - 47 of 47