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Vanity is a Sepulcher

Dear tomorrow:
Find sensibility, respond to emotion.

What's delicate, now lost.
As the selfish forgot what is sacred,
The humble forget themselves.

Selflessness is only a virtue.
Will we climb for a lifetime only to fall short of infinity?
These stories that we're writing are water-thin.
It's disheartening because I know we're capable of vision.

The city to be punished.
So many never listen
And I drown in disgust.
When will we ever remember?
When will we realize false statements fall to the feet of dead gods?

Author notes

Prompt: Forgotten, complication, abhorrence, and vanished.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Lovebugg
    October 5
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this, even though the title is yet again, borrowed from The Devil Wears Prada.


  • PinkeyPromise
    July 25
    Edit | Reply
    i really like this. it makes the reader think. great write.

    xoxoxo
    ~Mask


  • Amethyst77
    June 19
    Edit | Reply

    Love it.

    I find this poem really interesting. Nice work!


  • Silent Wayfarer
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! This is very thought provoking (as one of your comments below has mentioned) and interesting! What an incredible write! Thanks for entering!


  • Lmas
    May 23

    Edit | Reply

    Good stuff!

    Thought provoking. A great read. I very much like the "dear tomorrow" because it gives the reader hope. Good stuff! Keep at it.
    Lmas


  • coversheet
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    "Will we climb for a lifetime only to fall short of infinity?"

    Niiiice. That line is definitely my favorite.
    The structure is very good as well, especially the "dear tomorrow" as the first line.
    This is good writing, but I particularly like the meaning behind it. I love it when people question morality. ;D

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    I like the immediacy of " dear tomorrow" it shows that yesterday is to be put to bed. Perhaps the capitalization of each line regardless of whether it was a new line of thought may have not been necessary but part of the wonderful liberty of creating for the self is being able to choose presentation and if it suits you then alls well. Interesting that you wrote "only" a virtue, as if a virtue wasn't to be lauded /applauded. Surely for tomorrow to be even a tad better we need more virtuous acts/actions/reactions? When will we ever remember...reminds me of why we forget what we wish we could remember and remember what we wish we could forget...somewhere in between that conundrum is a seam of ore that is bedecked in lore...Congratulions on the shiny for the shelf for Vanity is a Sepulcher, methinks you mirrored its reflections well.


  • Antebellum
    May 22

    Edit | Reply

    Selflessness is only a virtue.
    Will we climb for a lifetime only to fall short of infinity?

     

    Your writing is amazing. Im jealous :]



  • TerrifiedSky silver member
    May 22

    Edit | Reply
    Selflessness is only a virtue.
    Will we climb for a lifetime only to fall short of infinity?
    These stories that we're writing are water-thin.
    It's disheartening because I know we're capable of vision.

    This stanza is by far the most powerful in the poem. This is very thought provoking. But history will always repeat itself because we stay blind to the mistakes of our fathers.

    Great write!

    Much love,
    Jessica


  • Jocelyn.Jaded
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow this is just amazing. I agree with the others; it is very thought provoking. I like the way you worded this also, and pretty much everything in this write. Great write. (:

  • Mercury Rising
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    A great take on the prompt and a very thought-provoking and interesting poem.


    • ARTvs.WAR
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      It's a bit overwhelming having someone with your reputation say something so positive about what I conjured up. It makes me feel accomplished.

      Thanks a lot! :]

  • patrick20traveler
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Perhaps I am too cynical to appreciate your youthful sentiments, but I think this poem is very well written and certainly thought provoking. Good job.


  • alaska.
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    -These stories that we're writing are water-thin.- love that line.

    very strong word choice.
    much better than the first one i will say.


  • rainboots
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    Man. Great word choice. This felt so harsh and true. There was a lot of feeling in this. Great intake on the prompt and thanks for entering.

  • rainboots
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Your prompt is these words: forgot, complicated, abhorrence, and vanished. You can use them in the title, poem, or just as inspiration. Let me know which you do.

    • ARTvs.WAR
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      I used forgotten, and complications for inspiration. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write this piece :]

1 - 20 of 20