carry on

sometimes
when i'm through pretending,
i can see the translucent,
the fear and anger that lurks here.
there's nothing for me to reach for.
nothing to strive for, to achieve.
there is nothing left for me
to sink my teeth into,
or to start the day with a good note,
there is nothing to motivate.

i'll spend the day planning.
it's mother's day.
nothing but the best for dear old mom
then some fast-moving, uncaring
bastard
hits my car in the parking lot
while i'm at work,
to pay the bills.
he takes my mirror right off.
another thing i have to pay for
but just don't have the money for.

i'll spend my time studying
for standardized testing
that means nothing.
i waste the sunsets and sunrise of each day
so i can stay inside and learn.
and for what?
there seems to be nothing left.
yet i carry on, while others around me
drop like flies.
they 'just can't deal'
but i carry on.
even if there's nothing left,
i can't give up, but carry on.
there's a fire within me
and it isn't ready to die out yet.
so even if there's nothing left,
i'll hold out.