Critical eyes
Try to follow my shadow
As I stumble wearily
Through the assumptions of a narrow mind.
Fighting my way
Through the drama of the dusk
A cloud of uncertainty
Threatens the memory of a warm glow.
I pause my struggle
Just long enough
To analyse the distortion at my feet
And as I do
I fade away under the pressure of an ever-changing day.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
oooo....this is very intense...and i dont quite understand it..which adds to the intensity..
" a cloud of uncertainty threatens the memory of a warm glow" - i like this line... a cloud covering a glow (and creating a shadow..) amazing extended metaphors there huni
you have a good theme of weather/sky/light etc going through it....
it makes me feel like the speaker experiences a day full of mixed emotions... where they can be happy in the warm glow.., and then suddenly a cloud comes in....and creates shadows on the day..and darkness...?
anyways, i like it..especially the idea of shadows and light in it
another impressive poem by you my lovely pinguino
xx
-
-
Thank yooouuu!! I guess I started writing this poem with an idea of having a shadow of yourself that sometimes you can catch sight of whilst at other times it appears to not be present. This shadow could be positive or negative but it fights to be seen when the sun has set. I guess when relating this poem back to me and what it meant for me the shadow represented other people's perceptions of the person that I am, and the "distortion" refers to both the sun distorting the shadow and other's perceptions being distorted..but I guess it can be interpreted in many ways! x
-
Adding your comment:
