For So Long

For So Long
For so long it's been so cold,
so freezing that it's hard to take,
it's hard to breathe with water all around me,
in my nose, my mouth, my lungs,
sinking and drowning, further and further.

For so long it's been burning,
so hot that it's difficult to withstand,
it's hard to breathe with the heat all around me,
in my eyes, on my skin,
fighting and burning, faster and faster.

For so long it's been nothing,
so unbiased it's hard to handle,
it's hard to breathe when the feeling of life is nonexistent,
nothing to be heard or said,
so loud and yet so quiet, more and more often.

I've been told it's worth living,
I need to keep fighting it,
I'm listening but not comprehending,
not understanding, unable to focus.
How am I supposed to believe,

When it's been this way for so long?