Secure beneath her branches
I will sleep the night away
Whilst hoping for more chances
I reach out towards the day.
Within her trunk I wander
as I search for healing light
without much time to ponder
I cry out for second sight.
I'm blinded by the hour
and I falter as I go
for there's no earthly power
that can show me where to go.
A mole within a mountain
I dig out another mound
Then wash under the fountain
hoping that I will be found.
I feel life's spade above me
as depression waits to kill
Protected by the night tree
Not a drop of blood will spill.
For seeing is believing
as at last I have a view
There's something worth retrieving
as I lay my eyes on you.
A contest entry
- funny how the night can make you blind by JinSays.
906 points, ended June 1, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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lovely Ros. You always give me something completely original and thoroughly you. Thank you.
Love,
jin -
Totally Beautiful! Awesome timing and your rhymes are not forced. Wonderful surprise ending which concludes the poem well.


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So full of truth. I could feel what your were writing.


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Lovely rhyming in seven syllable long footed lines, quite a delicious meter

The story telling s topnotch too

Great stuff
Jef

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Ah, so highly poetical here, a very fine write indeed, with very, very good meter and some excellent rhyme... just some really good stuff here. I loved it!
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Within her trunk I wander
as I search for healing light
without much time to ponder
I cry out for second sight.
that was marvelous imagery and description
just fantatic
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wonderful
Gives me hope when i think about life. makes me feel happy.
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Hopeful
Where would we be without hope or the thought that things will get better tomorrow. Darkest before the dawn. An old theme well resurrected.

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wow, this is lovely
1 - 9 of 9






