She stood,
Tears and blood,
Dripping down her face.
The lake,
It looked so welcoming,
Like a warm blanket,
Seething with nothing but
Easy feelings.
The evil clouded her vision,
Her legs began to move,
Against her will.
Her eyes looked in disbelief,
What was to become of her?
The water rose to her thigh,
Thoughts of wading in a childhood pond
Flooded her head.
Thoughts of love entered her mind,
She stopped,
Took one step backward.
Then she thought of how her one,
Her true love,
Would never wake from his accident induced slumber.
The evil returned,
She began to walk,
And then nothing.
Now that I have awakened,
I have come to realize
Not to be sorrowful.
I will miss her,
Yes,
But I know that she loved,
For that stutter step,
That was me.
Author notes
Thank you for your thoughts.
Written March 11th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
whoa~.... nice write ya got here sweetheart... you have excellant talent, better then mine, i can tell just by reading this piece. very heartfelt, i loved it
keep it up, ciao.
~Sun -
this was well written. i liked the 'accident induced slumber' line. you did a good job of illustrating the inner-conflict. with the unsure steps forward, then a step backward, and then stepping forward again. it showed her mind working...
is it just me or does the border move as you're reading? trippy. the white area in the middle was moving around...
yeah but great write. -
Excellent.
The water rose to her thigh,
Thoughts of wading in a childhood pond
Flooded her head.
Water, wading, flooded. I see your talent. Lovely work! You are VERY blessed if you have dreams that give you insiration. Not all of us are that lucky.
-
This did not happen to me, It was a dream I had. As is the same with all of my poems.
-
i really think you are a great writer with alot of felling placed into what you are saying to be honest i really think this ios a grerat write keep it up
-
Hmm...well, sad poem, to say the least. As a reader i am kind of taken out of the world of the poem by asking myself, how would you know that she took a stutter-step at all. I mean, the rest may be totally true, and that is a tragedy, but that part makes me doubt. At any rate, it is a good poem, and thank you for sharing.
Peace,
Lo
-
thank you for sharing
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
1 old applause
