The lady was fair and lived in the light,
Her lover was dark and dwelled in the night.
They knew that their romance was doomed from the start,
Yet they didn’t care, they followed their heart.
A flaxen-haired beauty, noble was she,
a courteous, gentle, proper lady.
She came from a family ancient and proud,
they disliked her love, their protests were loud.
A prince of the darkness, slender and lithe,
he lived off of theft, was skilled with the knife.
Unlawful and wild, used to deceit,
he thrived upon shadows, his home was the street.
Their love seemed eternal, supple and strong,
but they were so contrary, it couldn’t last long.
His craft was a dark one, riddled with strife,
a thief in the night; she feared for his life.
One eve he was caught, and thrown into jail.
His sentence was death, though the lady wailed;
all of her pleas, her cries went for naught,
The evening before, his presence she sought.
He comforted her through the bars of his cell,
and with heavy heart, he bid her farewell.
The guards came for him, they came for her thief,
they ushered her out, her head bowed in grief
The morning arrived, all silent and chill,
she went to the scaffold, her face pale and still.
The noose round his neck, a tear from her eye,
as she silently cursed those who caused him to die.
Author notes
Written March 11th, 2003
Read prompt. Author: Shadowsong
In a list
A contest entry
- I'm not good at much, but I'm great at listening. by Sin Aesthetic.
600 points, ended June 21, 2008, 50 entries
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780 points, ended January 6, 36 entries
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3500 points, ended March 28, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me a poem about LOST or Impossible LOVE. PW Allowed PLZ READ THE RULES AND PROMPT OR YOUR POEM WILL BE REMOVED by The Falls Sun.
430 points, ended July 14, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Thank you for your entry in the contest. A good story with a very sad ending and some strong imagery, rhyme and flow were good.
All the best in the contest.
Sue and Jeff
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Such a good story... sad ending. I loved it! The emotion... the intensity and the beauty of it was intriguing. Great job. Beyond all they loved but it was so sad in the stanzas where he had to bid her farewell from his cell. So sad, but beautiful again.
Excellent work! -
really good imagery in this poem. i liked it. there was a lot of emotion in it as well.
Their love seemed eternal, supple and strong,
but they were so contrary, it couldn’t last long.
His craft was a dark one, riddled with strife,
a thief in the night; she feared for his life.
good stanza, very good stanza. good job! -
good story and you managed to keep the rhyme in tact and the flow smooth. It held my interest throughout. thank you for entering
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Beautiful poem. I loved it. I honestly can't even pick out my favorite lines. The whole thing was beautiful :] Thank you so much for entering & I wish you the best of luck ! ♥
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THIS is AWESOME !!! One of the best pieces I have read to night. Flawless ryhme and meter. Loved the story. Well done. I am so glad I stopped by and will be back again. Blessings. d
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Thanks for entering my contest, this was a good poem although I didn't care for the rhyme which you used. I liked the narrative here and the use of characterisation. This was an interesting sociological poem about love
All the best
Pozo
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I think my first favorite poem was the one...he rode in ont he moonslight..a raven haired beauty...the landlord's daughter..soemthing......I even forget the title, but with some research should find it quickly. This reminds me so of it. Well done, the rhythm pulled me through the tale. Well done!
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Aww this was so sad!! Great rhythm and flow.
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I always want to write rhyming story-poems like this but I keep messing them up. This is excellent. I mean, I'm bookmarking it. It sort of reminds me of a book I read except I don't know which one.
Great job.
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It's a good story and you told it well, although I agree the wailed line doesn't quite fit,not so much for the rhyme but more for the rhythm.
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keep writing its good for the soul
This poem is so to the point and on thespot. If everyone would just listen to their heart's and niot to what everyone else says I believe out lives would be happier. Anyway great poem.I look forward to reading more from you. -
Contrasting
I really enjoyed this poem... very interesting how you brought both parts of the contest together... death and love. The way you wrote about the two lovers contrast was very moving. I quite enjoyed reading it.
the one line that u changed for your teacher... the thought accured to me that u might have been better off leaving the word lady out of it..... maby instead u could have finished it
"though she did wail"
Just a thought
Island of Blue
Pierce R -
thats why i just normally ignore my teachers lol, the way i see it, is flow and how it sounds important, i dont worry about grammar or anything like that obviously, but its up to you, and either way, great poem
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ah, you see, I had it as "did wail" originally, but then my creative writing professor told me that was v. bad to have in poetry- it's garbled syntax and not good at all. So I changed it. Even though it doesn't quite fit.
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wow, this is a really good poem, i loved your rhyming scheme, but in one part:
One eve he was caught, and thrown into jail.
His sentence was death, though the lady wailed;
all of her pleas, her cries went for naught,
The evening before, his presence she sought.
you didnt quite make it fit, i was thinking you could change it from wailed, to did wail, that would keep up the rhyming scheme, but if you did it for some reason then ignore my ignorant ramblings, anyays great job, and keep up the good work, thanks for entering
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I really enjoyed reading this poem it is truly amazing. Thank you for sharing this poem with everyone, good luck on the contest..take care
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