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love love love is on air

my world is shimmering with love,
with all of the lovers watching thoes sunset to set,

and i am in love and love is over me now,

when i touch thoes dark river it turns to blue,

as my love release energy,

to give love,

because i am in love,

every time i touch you my whole world will change,

and everytime i kiss you with my lips,

is heaven im my dreams,

love love love is on air..

 

A contest entry

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Comments


  • silverscent gold member
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    I hate to sound harsh here hun, but I have to say this. The contest clearly says "do not enter anything you don't believe to be worth gold."
    Now I'm sorry if you genuinely put a lot of effort into this but it doesn't show. Firstly, if you have used a spell checker that would have been more convincing.
    Now I said I wasn't going to comment on entries that had errors or lacked imagination, but my softer side gave in.
    Seriously, if you want to win lots of contests you firstly need to use the tool all modern writers call their best friend, that's right, the spell checker.

    Thanks for entering nevertheless.


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    some spelling and grammatical errors like "coz" but other than that excellent. a wonderful poem. best of luck in our contest

    -Steve-


  • Angelo di Luce gold member
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    It reminds me of the song" very happy write
    Nicely done

  • Xxpoison.kissesxX silver member
    May 10
    Edit | Reply
    Awwh. this is beautiful...it does need some editing though....