Last night I dreamed of you…
and it startled me
for I had deemed you
gone from my mind—
lost within the mists
of pain and sadness.
We went out and danced in the rain,
abandoning our maturity
as we swung wildly about
in nature’s tears—
crying for what we lost,
crying for how I treated you.
It was strange seeing you again,
even if it was only
in the peacefulness of sleep.
I remember the pain I felt
at seeing your face once more—
your eyes were tear-filled as well…
For what I did to you,
I’m sorry…
though these words
will probably never reach you,
for I am not strong enough
to face what I ran away from.
This is not the first time
your face has haunted my dreams…
Perhaps I will never find peace
until I reconcile with you—
until I finish what I had started,
and release you from my grip.
I guess everyone learns someday
that I am dangerous and divine:
a poison in your blood
that’s slowly consuming you…
I never was very good
at learning when to stop.
You gave me your heart,
and I trampled it in my path
to forget my past—
to eliminate my present—
I lived wishing for a day
when I could forgive myself.
Yet I fear that day
will not come soon
because I am still afraid
of facing my past—
I like to pretend my life
is better than I remember.
So I guess this is goodbye
(for now at least)
until I am strong enough
to recognize my faults—
strong enough to overcome
my fear of facing you.
But for now I can only say,
“I’m not doing too well right now…
I will talk to you on that day
where my heart is not so heavy,
and my dreams are not so distant
from this reality I’m living in.”
Author notes
Yea...if you know me, you know who this was written for..at least I think you should. Either way, you could probably guess. Anyone got any questions for me? lol
Written March 11th, 2004
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Yea..I know what you mean..strange how we both seem to be going through similar things
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These are the worst kinds of dreams, they always make me feel depressed, even more so, when I wake up. Honestly Ica, id I didn't know better, I'd say you were in my head giving shape to my pain.
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Lol...bet you don't
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Heh, I think after knowing you for a few hours I already know who this was written for. ;p
Anyway, applause commencing. -
This was a very emotional peice. I guess everyone does things they regret, a part of life. Pain....gr. Weak. Awesome though, that something this good could come of it. Keep up the awesome poems. I hope things are getting better, shit is hard to deal with, but you friends. And thats whats important. So's cheese. BUt for a different reason intirely.
A waste of flesh -
aww...wow...so beautifully written...
seriously...this got me speechless too...wow
great poem...deep...lol
very nice
gina
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