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thoze lil white lies

.I SIT IN DARKNESS
CONFUSED...
AS I CANNOT FIND, WHAT IT IS IM FIGHTING WITH
STARTING TO FIND HAPPINESS,
A
DECIETFUL
LITTLE
MYTH


Author notes

Written March 10th, 2004

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  • Desiree Darkk
    June 14, 2004
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    The poem itself is pretty good, expression and topic. But since you asked for Crit I'll give it. I would lose the caps for one. Also, this makes it complicated to read. You have

    ALL A BLUR WHEN I OPEN MY EYES
    ALL A TALE
    TOLD BY WHITE LIES.ALWAYS CONNECTED

    All a blurr when I open my eyes
    all a tale, told by white lies.
    Always connected........after that the rhyming gets lost.

    Desiree