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* Pixie Dust *

Missing image
The myth of a pixie
Rests before my eyes
Her sadness of her true love of helping
Is deeply disguised

I see her in the moonlight
Bathing in little delight
Agony sheds though her glow
So many truths be un-told

Tenderness to every soul astounds
Enchantment of beauty that surrounds
Weaving her magic throughout your life
Without realising her compassionate strife

Never ending glowing in the dark
In your life without knowing
She leaves a printed mark
Prominent wings; veins flourishing

Compassionate and giving to even the cruel
Everyone deserves a chance once more
To bath in children’s dreams and hopes
Lover’s passion over seas envelops

She smiles beautifully
that spreads luck for miles across the sea
A splendour gleam to one’s eye
A twinkling sparkle that will never die

Her beauty shines within the twilight
Beneath the obscurity of the moon and skylight
Relishing within the earths elements
Falling water and soothing sounds
She flies above our grounds

Flourishing always
Keeping us safe

Author notes

option 3

In a list

A contest entry

erm honest opinion on the poem please

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Treasure 5 gold member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good, I really do like this. The way you use your words so smoothly done I thank you for rentering one of my many contests your in congratulations

  • This is very very beautiful and lovely. I had not idea pixies lead such a life.
    I enjoyed it all and therefore cannot pick a favourite stanza.

    You ought to change "Beautifully she smiles
    that spread luck for miles" to "Beautiful are her smiles/ that spread..." because the 'smiles' you have used the verb and cannot be followed by a phrase that describes an adjective.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to enter. Best of luck and keep on writing.

    Nooni


    • DinkyDiver gold member
      June 30
      Edit | Reply
      thankyou for your advice i have made that slight change :-) xxx glad you liked it

  • this is done with such skill
    good job

  • The rhyme went well but the rhythm wasn't fully there. This was an excellent write however and I appreciate your add into my contest. Wish you the best of luck

    <3Damien

  • J Macabre gold member
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    You did a great job with that and this photo. You created a character in her all your own.


  • moaner
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    Life is an un-broken seal
    Not creepy like an eel
    this doesn't really fit in, feels forced, but apart from that it was very pretty and sounded very spirtual. it started off like the heart ache was about the pixie and what she went through, but then went on to tell how she looked after us. could be two poems in one, and might be nice to separate the two ideas of the pixie, but other than that as my true HONEST opinion, i think its adorable x

    • thankyou huni, Ive made some changes :-) hope it works now xxxx


      • moaner
        May 8
        Edit | Reply
        perfect!!!! first stanza reminds me of me now hahaha

1 - 9 of 9