I didn't realize the complexity that came
with your casual questions that darted at me
like an arsenal of assumptions,
the heavy silence that followed fell to
the background while a kaleidoscope
of ill humored images flashed behind
my half slitted eyes
you mistook contemplation for
carelessness and I felt my inner
child buildup its colorful play blocks with
the tenacity of the Berlin wall.
You are a post impressionist painting, intricately
defined, where I boast colors with an expressionistic
flare,
like a scribbled spiral forgotten in
the margins, next to notes that learned
lessons emerged,
we were just filling the time day dreaming
on autopilot
and you can't build nothing into emptiness
just as my chaos could never calm you.
Author notes
Picture prompt
In a list
A contest entry
- GRAND OPENING!! Griswold's Surreal Picture prompt contest. #1 by Griswold.
1200 points, ended May 18, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Aegis of Heimdel Auditions by adsaige.
530 points, ended July 17, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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yes
of course!
"it's colorful play blocks" -- should be "its" and "colourful," respectively. -
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thank you....good call on "it's" but I think "colourful" might be the correct UK spelling, not in the US though
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ah yes, my apologies. i tend to assume everyone on here is from the uk too.
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Yessirre.
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Yes.
The tone and voice of this was bitterly brilliant. And unmistakable. Definitely looking forward to your entries.
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I really like this!!! it has great imaegry!!
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oh wow........ wow.......
i think this is the first time you've ever left me tongue tied.
"you mistook contemplation for
carelessness and I felt my inner
child buildup it's colorful play blocks with
the tenacity of the Berlin wall."
masterful.....
"we were just filling the time day dreaming
on autopilot
and you can't build nothing into emptiness
just as my chaos could never calm you."
true brilliance JFd- i could never attempt to properly praise this piece.... excellent. -T
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a good piece of poetry, ah off in the dreams, the ending made me think of love and becomiing complacent.
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What I was looking for was what you got out of the prompt, you gave me that and it is good. Loved the end:
"we were just filling the time day dreaming
on autopilot
and you can't build nothing into emptiness
just as my chaos could never calm you."
Excellent job, best of luck... Scott
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good work
i love your poem cus it is good work .good luck in the contest.
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it sounds really good. i like the similes an metaphors, but i personally feel like the rhythm is choppy. all in all it is very good.
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sounds like a Vango?????
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