Toxic whispers descend upon the night
Demon’s vessel of wounded souls’ despair
Piercing wails of anger deeply incite
Crimson ground quivers and parts to prepare.
Vengeance is theirs as they claw through soil
Bound by worm holed rags of yesterday’s hell
Twisted bones, hanging tissue of spoil
Escaping from their suffocating cells.
Surrender not to their foul choking speech
Swaying words smothered in bitter intent
Your lavish mortal soul they will beseech
Leaving you catatonic in torment.
Decline the emptiness that darkness brings
Cast them off in the night on evil’s wings.
Author notes
P a l o s z o o
In a list
A contest entry
- My 50th contest!!!! by Night Terrors.
650 points, ended May 17, 47 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bronze To Gold by Mercury Rising.
400 points, ended June 26, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Dark Poems! by LonelyAngel.
550 points, ended July 14, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Creative Eyes Are Waiting... by GinryuStargazer.
850 points, ended August 16, 32 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes! by Karra-Mayy.
1600 points, ended November 21, 317 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1042 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - My Love Affair With Death! by DemonChild.
3000 points, ended November 17, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Wow.So dark..
this is amazing.
Flawless rhyme.
Vengeance is theirs as they claw through soil
Bound by worm holed rags of yesterday’s hell
I love this part.
thanks for taking the time to enter.
good luck -
LOVELY!
LOVED IT, and finally a sonnet!
Let me just say; you have a few lines that are off on syllable count, such as "soil" and "spoil." But, I may halfta let that pass~ 
^^
^^
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I fixed it. Hadn't even thought about those words as two syllables, but you are correct.
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So depressing, dark hateful and painful, yet damn right amazing! I could not think about changing anything about these fearful words! I think its truely amazing and thoroughly deep with no glitches! Poet, you will go so far!
Well done on this poem,
Thank You For entering!
xRx -
so dark and yet so absolutly amazing. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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WOAH. this was really good! I loved it! so dark! congrats on the two trophies.
This was well written, and very dark which I like. WOW! awesome! nicely done! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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Yeah, you know what I think of rhyme.
We'll just skip on to what I like about this piece: the description, the imagery! Your words are fabulous at forming this horribly dark scene. It feels so real.
Maybe 'worm-holed' could have a dash?
Thanks for entering!
DancingRed.
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'Punctuation is our friend,
and not every line needs to be capitalized.'
Other than that-
I am pleased. Your vocabulary makes me want to dance. Your rhymes aren't basic- makes me want to smile.
So thank you. and good luck.
-Lil -
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Typically every line in a sonnet is capped and only the last line has a period at the end of each stanza. Thank you for your kind comments!
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I'll keep that in mind- I didn't recognize that it was a sonnet.( That was one part of CW that I did horribly on. Sonnets and me just.. weren't meant to be) Thanks for bringing my attention to that.
Once again, Good luck!
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Gratz on the trophy's this write deserved it
Awesome Thank you for entering and good luck !
-♥Amy♥ -
A terrific dark sonnet that was a pleasure to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
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Hush, fall silent and i'll pass my coment quick but they come to tear us apart as we did them, your usage of litreture and the english language has aided you well my friend and i see you are doing well in another contest.
I wish you well and be careful, they are comming...
Gorecki -
Foul & Evil Odors
Dear Poet,
Welcome to Round 2 PREWRITES FOR BRONZE & SILVER
FINALISTS with your submission Demon's Vessel.
I specifically like the following:
"Bound by worm holed rags of yesterday’s hell"
"Decline the emptiness that darkness brings
Cast them off in the night on evil’s wings."
uNTil then
wishing you the best
and stay
liquid -
Very good. I love the way you interpreted ADTR.
Good job. -
i like this its amazing thanks so much for the entry
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Wow...the dead rise...in a poem!!
What a vivid description of the dead clawing their way out of their graves. The words are used so well to make the images so easy to imagine. Well done!!!
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A good use of the word bank
Thanks for entering and good luck -
Very dark and poetic.
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Wow, flawless rhyme and flow here!
Great imagery throughout. Nicely done with this!
Bravo
♥ Kate -
Very well done. Excellent imagery and it made me feel as though I could picture this right in my mind. Very descriptive and beautiful job
Thank you for entering my contest and I wish the best of luck to you
Damin -
Upon my reread of this piece I note that you enjoy a challenge of a word list to incorporate into your piece and thus I will offer you a challenge from one I create during this multi round challenge.
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cliche'
also on a side note:
the size of the text being so large
takes away from the presentation
of the poem over all.
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Excellent
Imagery superb
Flow is amazing
Well done!!
Good luck in the contest
Darky
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dark, creepy
intensely good! your imagery is great, rhyme superb, story, amazing..
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1 - 25 of 25
