Average Teenage Girl

Was never fat, but she wanted thinner.
Wasn’t ugly, but she wanted prettier.
Wasn’t stupid, but she wanted smarter.
Had a lot, but still, she wanted more.

She was never just the right size,
And she never had just the right look.
She scored all A’s and all B’s but….
That just could never be enough.

Her peers wanted one thing from her,
Her teachers desired yet another,
Her parents were always pressuring,
And she...she desired her perfect ‘other’.

He came along, that perfect boy -
He was cuter, smarter and sweeter,
Not to mention so incredibly strong…
Maybe he could love and support her.

Later and later and months still later…
Parents refused, so she snuck out –
Her protector, became her violator;
He was her mental and physical cloud.

Marred bodily, forcefully lost purity;
Innocent mind, now house of haunting.
Lost mentally, unstable emotionally –
Ship without mast, puppet without strings.

Her nights were cried into sleeps deeper -
but only so nightmares could taunt her.
Days she'd scream her heart into peace…
But couldn't stop the spreading disease.

Early morning breakfast lost to toilet;
Lunch today flooding past her throat;
Late night walk and somewhere lost
the dinner tonight she could not hold.

A river of red running down her arm,
Feelings she felt falling to the floor;
Sliced stream still trickling downward,
She is not who she was, but who cares?

Why not today, someday she'd be gone–
So, tried to drown herself in the tub;
To overdose with prescription drugs;
Even to off herself with Daddy’s gun.

She almost confessed, she almost told –
She nearly went and asked for some aid…
But then again, she'd always known,
No one understands, so why be brave?

At the school counselor’s office,
They didnt really want to know or see.
So, when they gave her paper and pen,
she wrote what they wanted her to be.

“And who are you?” they would inquire.
I am your average teenage girl--
“…then shouldn't you be fine and normal?”
--defined by a twisted and blind world.