She was dull light,
Nestled in the shadow-blanket of his warmth,
Luminous warmth, that had all but become her hands,
As they lay about his neck,
And his fingers traced fingers,
Traced slopes of her shoulders,
Traced joints,
Till flesh (numb, content) was all heat,
And she could only feel the fever in
Her bones- in the sinews,
And the synapses- her nerves,
Her nerves expatriated their nervous system,
Moving the only part of her that could feel
To the static-electric current existing between-
the words hiding behind his teeth,
and her eardrums
pounding, thumping, drumming,
Longing.
And she melted and cooled,
With the touch of his lips,
on her brow.
And in that silent silence that followed,
She silently begged,
Please I want this to stay like this,
never ever ending,
never changing,
This
Author notes
g ormanda
A contest entry
- MUSIC CONTEST!!! by MysteriousWhisper.
400 points, ended May 9, 2009, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Huge points! Amera Got Married Contest!! by PerVirtuous.
19000 points, ended June 2, 2009, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE!!!!! by darkscorpia.
640 points, ended May 19, 2009, 116 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just make it amazing. by ThisIsMyWonderland.
400 points, ended June 23, 2009, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is exactly what we are looking for. Thanks for your entry. Straight to the finalists' list.
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thank you, best of luck to Amera!
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I usually don't change the background colours on my pieces, but it seems you've found the perfect shade of pink for this one. This poem captures the feel of living in someone's lips, how all of our broad perception can become focused on the fleeting touch of skin, fingers twining. My one suggestion would be to find another word to carry the burden 'expatriate' does now. I understand what you're going for and it's a nice, sensual idea, but the word just seems a bit too clinical. Certainly when I'm in the state this poem describes, I seldom think of fifty-cent words like that one.
Otherwise though, I very much enjoyed this. -
very nice interpretation of the song! really so many amazing images! it kind of makes me think its a song....anyways great job and good luck in the contest!
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