As my world is falling apart around me
I found you my angel in the middle of all this darkness
You are the one that pulled me from the dark life I was living
From the first moment my eyes looked upon your beauty
I knew you were not human you had to be a angel for
Beauty such as yours does not exist in this world
Your beautiful hair wavering in the wind
Your eyes with such beauty for when I look into them I think I am in heaven
Your lips so lovely and pure
Your face which is that of an angel
Your voice which is the most beautiful I have ever hear in all my life
I could just listen to you talk all day
It is like listening to the most beautiful music play
Ever winter that passes is a reminder of how much I love you
When the snow beginnings to fall
I remember all the times we had wishing for them to never fade
When I walk about the park where we use to meet
I start to cry when I think how much I miss you
When the ice starts to melt and the winter is ending
All I can remember is the day we first met
On that faithful day I met an angel and that angel was you
The winter is now gone and spring is arriving
I start to remember mixed memories some are good while others not
I remember when we went to go see the cherry blossom trees
And we fell asleep in each others arms
But like I said before not all were good
The one memory that I don’t want to remember
For it hurts too much for me to bare
The day you left without a word or without reasoning
In the end you will always be my angel of beauty
You will always be my savior and love
No matter how far apart we are my love will never weaken
All I can say in the end is that
“Our hearts will never be apart, we both vowed to be eternally together, in life and in death”
Author notes
Oh noes!
K i r a 6 5
A contest entry
- Prewrite contest by Sadistic klown girl.
1000 points, ended June 2, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Complete And Utter Emotion!! by ChunkyC.
900 points, ended June 19, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your favourite poem! by forbidden-colour.
550 points, ended July 8, 141 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I am love... feed me! PW welcome! by Fallen-Muse.
650 points, ended July 9, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [sorry if we can't all be unoriginal] but I have a mold to break. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended June 29, 133 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites!!! Come take a look! by CentrifugalCorpse.
1250 points, ended September 7, 223 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your best. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended July 9, 169 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Melt by Diminished Capacity.
770 points, ended July 14, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST CONTEST CONTEST!!!!!!! by SkitzoSkittlez.
700 points, ended August 8, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Kathraina.
650 points, ended August 15, 456 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 89 of 89
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cool
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i acually know him he is a nice preson or dude
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Aww this is such a very lovely piece!
I can feel the emotions here seeping off the page.
Marvelous job with this write!
Bravo
♥ Kate -
nice job!
but i noticed you kinda repeated alot of things.. you dont have to keep tlling us she was and angel or that you had memories of time y'all had... you should've put each of those in different stanzas and left it at that.. but i enjoyed..
thanks for entering and good luck! <3 -
This poem is very raw. The imagery was amazing and creative. I noticed how it began to get sad and even more emotional at the end which is very inspiring. Great job on the details and explaining you feelings about things. I love how you can put your feelings into words, I myself struggle with that particular talent... but anyways Great job on this wonderful write. Good luck with everything
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This is a very wonderful piece. Fantastic job on the imagery. Very sad but very beautiful.
My favorite part-
Ever winter that passes is a reminder of how much I love you
When the snow beginnings to fall I remember all the times we had wishing for them to never fade
When I walk about the park where we use to meet
I start to cry when I think how much I miss you
When the ice starts to melt and the winter is ending
All I can remember is the day we first met
On that faithful day I met a angel and that angel was you
Thank you for entering my contest.
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Thanks for entering && Good luck
[if you end up a finalist I'll leave a more detailed comment] -
WOW YU RLLY HAV A WAY W/WORDS NICELY DONE
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you think this one is good but for me my best is either forsaken love or angel of beauty!
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Aww, so sad and yet so beautiful. I really, really, really like this. Very well done!
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i like it what a beautiful analogie
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Sad yet beautiful. Thanks for entering.
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This poem has such vivid imagery and my favorite part would have to be "I could just listen to you talk all day
it is like listening to the most beautiful music play" but I love the whole second stanza.
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Good
A lot of great imagery in this piece. Thank you for sharing... Good luck. -
Thank you for entering!
Interesting, I did like your aliterations of the love described, brilliant piece and well deserving of being in my contest,
Thank you for entering!
Take care,
Sophie.
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very beautiful
it's the type of devotion that not many couples have great job -
This was beautiful. I loved it. Keep up the good work. Good luck and thank you for entering my contest.
~Kayla
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Tear Jerker.
Very nicely penned. Beautiful words from a mouth sewn shut my the kiss of love, tue expressions from the heart. Great job xD! -
Wow. I'm speechless. Absolutely speechless..
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest :]
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this is too good to explain with words!!!! i am speechless!!!!
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I would not say that it was that good but like i said it before it is part of mt best series of poems. my Ice poems!
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lol i i dont have any kind of poems grouped together i like going from one random subject to another!!!! i showed my teacher a poem about death and she kinda freaked. then i showed her one about butterflies and she got confused!!!! :-> :-> :->
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I did the same thing and my teacher thought i was crazy!
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lol how lovely!!! haha
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My chest seemed to empty and quiver.
This is a gorgeous poem -
"Ever winter that passes is a reminder of how much I love you
When the snow beginnings to fall I remember all the times we had wishing for them to never fade
When I walk about the park where we use to meet
I start to cry when I think how much I miss you
When the ice starts to melt and the winter is ending
All I can remember is the day we first met
On that faithful day I met a angel and that angel was you
The winter is now gone and spring is arriving
I start to remember mixed memories some are good while others not
I remember when we went to go see the cherry blossom trees and we fell asleep in each others arms
But like I said before not all were good
The one memory that I don’t want to remember for it hurts too much for me to bare
The day you left without a word or without reasoning
In the end you will always be my angel of beauty
You will always be my savior and love
No matter how far apart we are my love will never weaken
All I can say in the end is that
“Our hearts will never be apart, we both vowed to be eternally together, in life and in death”"
These two stanza's are amazing. They remind me of what I told my love. I will always love him till beyond the day that I die it will be eternal for ever and ever Thank you for reminding me of that. Thank you for sharing. -
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No problem it is my pleasure to help remind you of such a beautiful time! thanks for the comment!
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i love this one. you know you have found a way to capture what many feel but cant think of. amazing
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This is rather good, although in the first half you use the words beauty and beautiful too much. But the heart behind it is powerful. Good Write.
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WOW
So well done. The flow is really good and words bring it all to life. The only thing I can suggest is take another look at some of the words and correct some minor spelling. I really loved this so I wish you the best of LUCK in the contest!
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Thanks for the suggestions
I am going to look over some of the words like you said and see what i can do! plus i will fix some of the minor errors! and i really thought this poem sucked, looks like i was wrong!
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KAWAII!!!!
LOVE IT!! AGAIN!! So cute! I love love love it! -worships the pencil and pen you write these with-
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It was a pen and it came from the heart that is why it is so great! i say that anything that comes straight from the heart is great for it is what you fell.
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Yea it is. Lol
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i have not been able to write anything lately! i really have no inspiration
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I sorry. Neither have I. Lol mostly because I have been at Art Storm. Lol That was really fun and I just got back.
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I just really can't i have been reading over some of my poems which i did not post here and thinking what was i thinking and what inspired me to write them
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Lol That is good.
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The bad thing is that i did not really think of anything! i am thinking of making a another Poem to the Ice series named "Ice and End"
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Cool title. You should
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It will be the end of the series that is why it is called "Ice and End"! it will be a mix of love and sadness, it is going to be completely different then the rest
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Coolness!! Lol
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It will be more dark and gloomy at the end! in the beginning it will be all about love and then change into pain!!
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Wo.....I can't wait now!! You got me excited for it!!
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you might have to wait a long time! because to write that poem i want to capture true love and the only way for me to do that is to love and be loved back!!!
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Well I hope it happens soon then. Lol
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That makes 2 of us but i doubt it greatly! these poems were suppose to stay a secert but i could no longer hold them inside
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I don't think anyone can hold there emotions in very long. They have to let them out sometime. Lol I hope I get loved too. It is almose my 16th birthday!!! YAY!
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when is your birthday!! maybe i write a poem for you for that day!!
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That would be cool!!! It is July 17! And I am so excited!
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You know what i just remembered the poem "Ice and Snow" was a b-day present 2! well i got to start working on it
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That is so cool!! Lol YAY!! You are so kind!
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Yeah i know but i can be 2 nice sometimes!!
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You can never be too nice silly. Lol
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Oh yes you can, well i can at least! it is a long story but believe me when i say it i can be 2 nice at times!!
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Oh I see. Lol ok I will take your word for it. Lol
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Lol that is good but i say being to nice is never a bad thing
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It is never a bad thing. Lol
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Yeah but you know what is a bad thing having 2 personalities
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Yea sometimes. But some people cant control it.
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i can control my other side! it took some time but i learned to call uopn him when i need him, only to fight
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Lol That is good. Lol
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But anyway i just put up a new poem but i need to finish it!!1
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YAY!!!
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It is not that good though, Kinda DArk
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I love it!
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it is really not that good, i think i needs a lot of work!!
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I still love it and you can't change my mind. Lol
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Lol but i can always try!!
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Lol yes you can but I won't change my mind either way. Lol
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What i really want to do is write another poem like "Ice and Angel" or "Ice and snow" because those are my favs!!!
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I love them too. You so should ^-^
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Yeah but those poems toke so much emotion to write, it is gonna take a while to write one like that again
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Lol that is ok.
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Yeah but every time i write a love poem i lose a part of me
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That is weird
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Yeah i know but i am a weird person
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Don't worry bout it. I am too. Lol
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Well i say everyone is weird in there own way, but that is a good thing!!
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It is a good thing. Cause we all have our faults.
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Yeah that is true, i posted a new poem, it is a little sort and a little weird
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Funness! Lol
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This is sweet, it made me tuck my head in my shirt while reading it. I don't know why I did that.....
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I just made this last night, what i was thinking when i was writing is that love should always be fought for until the end no matter what! But it seems like i am fighting a battle that i am not going to win!!
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what battle and why you think you will lose?
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The battle of love! and i know i will love because i have always had bad luck all my life i am still battling but sooner or later i will lose!!
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okay,
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Yeah it is really crazy in short i will never be with my love for many reasons and that just SUCKsss
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I'm sorry, I feel nervous write now.
maybe chat another time....
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