I could not foresee the pain it would cause.
Not for a second to think did I pause.
And now I must live with the consequences.
"Hurting here is where I belong."
I deserve to sing this painful song.
I'm trying to live with my consequences.
I'm sorry Father! I'm sorry Mother!
I'm sorry Sister! I'm sorry Brother!
We must all live with my consequences.
I am trying to understand the pain
That I forced upon you again and again.
I'm trying to understand my consequences.
I know you don't trust me anymore
When I'm alone behind a closed door.
I will deal with my consequences.
I feel I can almost hear the doubt
That in your brain whirs about.
I swear one day you will be able to trust me.
I promise that your pain I can finally see.
I know that "hurting here is where I belong"
Shamefully and deservedly I sing this song.
I tried to take my own life,
Sleep forever, end my strife.
I never saw how much you cared.
Never listened when souls were bared.
You loved me then and always will.
Never once did you wish me ill.
I'm sorry, from the deepest part of my soul.
Please give me the one thing to make me whole...
Forgiveness.
Author notes
There is an odd rhyming scheme here that changes in the middle of the poem. It may work, it may not. I just felt like trying something new.
When I was younger, I tried to kill myself multiple times, never once paying attention to how I was hurting my family. Every day I live with the pain of knowing now what I did to them. The only thing that makes it bearable is their forgiveness. That's the inspiration for this poem.
A contest entry
- My eyes died back that day, seeing the hurt I may have done by abmsem.
800 points, ended May 14, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is very good, I know where you are coming from.
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I really liked it. And I can relate so much, it does touch home in a personal way. I love your inspiration and how you use that and the prompts I gave you to write so passionately about something painful. I know how it feels to let your family down in that way, to see them so hurt because you have tried to take your own life. You write delicately but so rawly and your style is nice.
Thank you and good luck in my contest -
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I saw the prompts and felt like it was a perfect opportunity to get this out. Sometimes I lack inspiration for beginning a poem or knowing how I'm going to write on a certain topic. Your prompts gave me the inspiration I needed.
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Beautiful inspiration to have, although a sad way to have it. Thankfully now you understand the real meaning of love and how deep it truly runs through some families. I hope that you do not bare your cross regarding this and the pain that you have caused your family in the past... We all reach our darkest moments right before the dawning of the new day where we understand and see the truth and the light, I pray that you know your family loves you so much that they don't want you to continue carrying that cross and that burden... time to forgive your self... An amazing write and best wishes in the contest my friend.
Aaron
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poem. I'm glad to know you liked it!
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