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Testin(1,2,3)








Hey babe!
you're Really Cute.
could I buy you a Coca-Cola.
I am a hemisphere,
what are you?

I have some candy
back at my place,
but you know, we'd have to drive around,

Hey! I like your hair
we'd have to use your car,
you know.

Author notes

Thought maybe if I practiced it'd work just once.
Written March 10th, 2004

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Cisco Kid
    March 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    LOL. Damn delightful! This is the ice-breaker poem at the reading, the one that makes everyone laugh and loosen up, makes us not take ourselves so seriously. Poetry readings could be a stiff and awkward situation without the feel-good reads like this. Thanks Lute, and best of luck in the contest!


  • sanity
    March 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    great

    This is fun and clever, it brought a smile to my face, good luck in the contest.........

    Take care

    Sanity.


  • Silvermoon Dragon
    March 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Lol. Too many times I've heard things like this, but never with such humor. Maybe it's to do with the level of drunkeness? Either way, this made me smile.


  • Unbridled1
    March 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    ooooooh...like this...i always go for the rebel's until UB is no longer their "cause"...lol.

    UB


  • cvillelisa
    March 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    poetry reading is for lovers in the park. dammit.

  • Odyssey
    March 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Oh Lute, you weally fink I'm cute ~bats eyelashes~

    LMAO

    Thanks for entering this Lute, and all my best to you in the competition.


    Edited on Mar 11, 3:42 because ''.


  • MuseStalker
    March 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    very amusing

    Hmmm...and I thought the premise of the contest was poetry reading...not open-mike night at the comedy club. This would be funnier if it weren't so much like the lines I remember from my bar-hopping days (back in the stone-age. ) I like the "hemisphere" line....but, it's way too clever for bar banter. I'm trying to figure out what your soul-mate would respond to the line...."I'm herculean in my tolerance of such geography"....or maybe "I'm unmoved by such shenanigans"....or how about, "I'm female-iar with the term"....nah, too much of a stretch. Thanks for the giggles...ah, you young whipper-snappers. Good luck in the contest.


  • macandrew
    March 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    still chuckling

    Very funny. A scene played out in many a sad bar. Sad men trying to meet women. Borrow her car, now that is very good.

    good luck dude,
    John


  • March 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hey, you really ought to keep your password and details private, or else this is what happens, someone posts this kind of thing under the Lute name. It can harm the Lutean reputation. Ah well, American humour goin' on. Bemused. I go to the Miserable one instead, in search of precipitation or at least a bit of cloud cover.


  • jenneddin silver member
    March 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    lol, you sure are cute

    Never know, it might work....

1 - 10 of 10