my first four years looked cutest
with pigtails in her hair
she was still scared of the dark
and hadn’t experienced
real loneliness
yet
she often held her hand
towards the sky and
asked when she’d be
“this b i g”
little did she realise
the moment she reached it
she’d want to hug her knees
in her own cotton pocket
and reshape everything
she had done from then
until now
Author notes
sorry about the negative ending....but isn't the image beautiful!
In a list
A contest entry
- The Mother of All Contests by white stone.
7250 points, ended July 12, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Firstly, the picture is adorable!!
Now to the poem....
The use of "her" in the second line immediately offers the idea of looking in the past with a certain degree of disconnect and separation.
The second and third stanzas seem to offer the sad idea that if she would have known the taste of "real loneliness" she would have looked forward to being "this b i g."
The one word I was not clear on was the word "did" in the second to last line. In it's simplest form I would have thought the line should have said something like:
"and reshape everything
she had done from then"
"did" seems to refer to the present almost as if there is an option to work backwards. Not sure if I missed something there.
It's always enjoyable working through your poems and trying to catch the ideas that the nuances reflect.
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Yes, yes, yes I agree, 'had done' sounds better.
Before long I might appoint you my no.1 reader for giving valuable comments.
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Aww... a little Nikola... regret can break the heart, and that little child is always inside. Simple, but stark in it's heavy weight per word. Thank you very much for wntering this contest, which because of talent from writers such as yourself, has become a constant thorn in my side. I hate to have to judge it. The entries are too good.
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That was so adorbale the first couple stanzas then i saw you kind of saying that once she aquired her want to be bigger...there would be some pain in her life that would make her want to curl up.
I kind of see, i could be wrong, but a message of enjoy your childhood here.
And yes the photo is really cute. Such innocence in her eyes.
How this didnt win is beyond me.
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Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be, that's for certain. I moved out when I was only 15; had I to do it over again, I'd have waited a little longer, enjoyed my barely-existent childhood a little more. This is a good penning, Poet. Adorable picture, too. Good luck in white stone's contest. 
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Sweet, that is the word that comes to mind when looking at the picture. Reality, that is the word that comes to mind when "this big" comes to be.
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we always seem to want to be at a different point in our lives than the one we're at ...now. your words and simple and honest
Stacy
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No need to apologize for reality. Thanks for entering.
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This is stunning observations of the picture and the memories of youth. Just beautiful C
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