Against the hard granite
Long since wilted
A symbol of was was
But can now never be
Memories flooding
My mind again filled
Thoughts left trailing
Tears left running
A reminder of the day
Where everything went wrong
Hinting at the moment
When my world turned upside down
I kneel to the ground
A gesture I've practiced for so long
I utter silently
Those words I never got to say
Upon your grave
A single rose I place
With the ring you never received
Of the promise I never made
A solitary black rose
Once red with love
Love that is now gone
Taking with it my heart
Author notes
I used word number 3 - Rose
I don't know if I should put "Of the promise I never made" or "Of the promise I never got to make". Any suggestions?
A contest entry
- Quickie pick a word any word by pain is love..
460 points, ended May 6, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
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Leave it the way it is. I really like this poem. I like the flow and the message. One thing the don't tell me your age. I am judging on who is the best not who is the best for their age. That being said. I like your poem and will put it in the finalist but just be worned I will judge not on your age but on your poem. Next time let people think what they will no one would think you were 12. But now I know that I will subcontiously judge you harder I will try not to but just take that in mind. Thank you for you beautiful poem and was an enjoyeble read.
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The words that you use unconscioussly are the best one only the after thoughts are what bug you just leave it the way it is it is very good
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Heart felt emotions of loss is strongly felt
best wishes to you and good luck
Julie
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I think, "Of the promise I never got to make" is better.
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