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Unattainable perfection

Anerexic or bulimic-
Our bones clack death!!
Seeking perfection-our lives-we prematurely end-
While anothers perfection quest simultaneously begins!

Author notes

prompt: perfection

A contest entry

what do u think??

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • skye01 gold member
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    you speak volumes in these few words. excellent


  • juggalettebaby
    May 6

    Edit | Reply

    YEP YEP

    I tolttaly love this poem. its so strait forward and to the point...People should really know to eat..but im no one to judge...


  • hollowriver
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    yes
    I agree
    brilliance with in words
    beautiful


  • x.Floating.in.XTC.x
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    great poem..
    the fact that the 2nd lines pretty nuts!
    when your bones go clack..thats the time you should really go eat..wow this poem is short but straight to the point..
    honestly written!
    great job

    • atomic-angel
      May 6
      Edit | Reply

      tanx

      honestly wrtitten indeed- I'm glad u liked da 2nd line cuz das the exact image that I imagined. I lk ur writes @-keep it flowin!!

  • pozo
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good poem about important social issues. I like the onomatopeaia (sp?) in the 2nd line, it made me think of the bones knocking together with no fat or skin to muffle the sound. Good luck in the contest.

    • atomic-angel
      May 6
      Edit | Reply

      tanx so much!

      apprec8 ur comments, one day hopefully b4 my bones clack I will get help if its not 2late?? Writing seems 2 b helpn some, Im still new, but find comfort in pennin my thots!!

1 - 7 of 7