You Spoke In Lyrics To Hide The Truth

/I'm dreaming of the nights we both remember well and I'm sure I'm most assured that the way you made me feel is the greatest love I've ever felt./

So we met at the end of dusty roads, when the night was beginning to appear over the horizon, trying to make the most of this. Calloused fingertips traced my spine, rubbed raw scars that never seemed to heal, before back tracking to the grass. The too long touches that started our controversial co-existence soon were never long enough, and the sparkle that once lit your eyes was tainted with regret.

With the moon over head, chapped lips touched powered eyelids, whispered lies in my ears. I knew the truth though, even from the start we were doomed to end in flames. I was only along for the ride, for the cheap thrill of knowing that you'd rather crash than save me. I was a masochist like that- never realized that it'd change though, that I'd falter on my path of indifference.

/Would you believe me, if I said I didn't need you? Because I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me./

Two in the morning phone calls that last till five kept me going through sleep deprivation, just knowing that you called was enough to keep me breathing. Even when half moons appeared under my eyes, I could smile and play it off. By the end of the game there was little I wouldn't do for you, and with my experience, there was little I couldn't. Calories became a thing of a past, and I ran on sweet symbols and the the taste of liquor on your breath.

Tripping on cloud nine, I fought battles I'd never considered fighting before. Conquered nightmares and dependency all because of your disapproving tones- so I suppose, in the end, I had to thank you for that. Still, medications destroy the musical atmosphere and I might never forgive you for turning me deaf to the comforting voices.

You played the role of an overbearing conductor so well that I forgot that the instrument needed to be tuned. I simply stroked and plucked until all that was left of my heart was a bleeding mass on the floor- and when the tears came to a halt, you simply referred me to a repair shop. As if tacky glue or lube could save the withering flesh-( they tried of course, but returned it back to me half healed, and all wrong.)

/Went to heaven, Couldn't get in for what I had done./

I knew that was the closest to an apology that I would get, so I hung on every word and painted you the perfect picture of my defeat. Bound in chains I was strewn across the floor, groveling for a resemblance of your love again- even though I knew on the inside that it was long gone. Still I pondered if pity or lust could bring you back to me, and thus laid out the last of me.

There was nothing left that you liked though, but in the end, you clung anyway. So like the chemist I was, I mixed and I brewed until I had a concoction strong enough to bind us together (Forever) again. A mixture of cheap whiskey and half-cocked mistakes slid from my tongue and onto yours, clothing eroded into dust. You attempted to recognize repercussions-
but I wasn't having any of that.

/Did you stay too long?/

With fingers clenched on the fraying edges of this old cotton gown, I screamed. There was nothing left inside of me that you hadn't seen- and darling you were still hungry for more. Teeth embedded in my throat, it was a wonder I could even breathe, and slowly I realized this was your final warning. A whispered word against my ear(check-) and I knew for once and for all, I had to go before the final decision. I'd never faltered when offering pawns- but was I really ready to sacrifice myself?(-mate)

/Cruel to the eye, watching him hold what used to be mine./