In four days I will be twenty-four
And I don't know how to feel
This life to me is unbelievable
The fact that I am still here unreal
I never thought I would see twenty-one
In utter shock to visit twenty-two
23 was a hell of a hard year
Now twenty-four has come into view
So many struggles through this
damn I've had so much pain
Every day I open my eyes
And have to wonder if I am sane
But I still breathe and I still walk
So I must have some purpose here
I just wish my vision wasn't so cloudy
and all the answers were crystal clear
They tell me that with age comes wisdom
But it must have gotten lost because it never did
I am still stuck not wanting to grow up
pretending I'm a Toys R Us kid
There are many who will read these words
And will say I have youth on my side
But I have almost lived a quarter century
And it's been a bumpy ride
I find myself caught in this back and forth
this twisted sort of debate
because I don't know how I want to be seen
or on whose scale I want to rate
I am tired of being responsible
being mature and paying bills
I want to worry about nothing but school
And get spoiled by all the frills
I don't want to be the adult
But I want the freedom of the kid
Like, I want to raise my hand at life's auction
Without time counting my bid
Alas I know there is no stopping life
As time marches in its peculiar ways
I will just have to accept it all
I will be twenty-four in four days
JayLynn
Copyright 2004 All Rights Reserved
Author notes
Birthday blues and questions. About the picture.... I haven't worn yellow since
Written March 10th, 2004
In a list
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I just want to hug that adorable baby
Toooooooooooooooooooo beautiful~
I can relate to being that child again~
With two of mine~They wish they were older and I tell them to cherish what they have now~The freedom of not paying bills, and the expectation to do this and that~LOL
Keep on writing sweetie and I loved this piece
Loved it~
YOUR b-day coming~Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm (writes down notes and cheesing)
big hugs
and much love~Desire
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excellent
You are beautiful. I love the picture. I think I will always see that beautiful little girl now, whenever I think of you. As far as the poetry goes, damn, girl....I don't know what's up but your poetry rocks the past couple of days. I mean, your stuff has always been good...or you wouldn't have been on my favs list since almost the minute I came onboard at AP...but, I don't know...it's like you really let your true self come through...and what awesome poetry you make! I am in awe. After all this time, I feel as if I've learned more about you in the past few poems than in all the chatting and IMing and comments we've shared up to now. You are amazing. I wish that I could give you my perspective on 24....I think you'd feel differently about it. I am going to send you a favorite quote of mine via email. I think it might help. In the meantime, know you're loved and cherished...and that there's a crazy old woman on the Oregon coast who is very glad you're around...even if it means you have to move on to the ripe old age of 24. Thanks for this wonderful poem...and happy birthday in advance, sweets.
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cute pictur
im not 24, or 23, or 22..but i will be some day, probably
this wasag ood poem
i raelly liked it -
cute pic i am 27 with 3 kids and even though i am a mom i can't help but be there for my kids
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now this is a 'universal' poem..everyone feels like this at one point..i would say its a pity to feel this at such a young age..but then..lol..i dont pity myself...so..but...neways..i can relate...well done
~~Blu~~ -
~Dios~
Flannel shirt!!! lol, sorry ok. Great poem, cute kid. I didn't understand what you meant by "But it must have gotten lost because it never did" Is that some sort of paradox? ok good job.
~Dios~ -
Awwwe, what a cute picture. That's the first thing that comes to my mind lol. I have never worn yellow since i was a baby either. I totally get what you are saying about the age thing though. i am 29 (ack, scary), and at times I don't want to act my age, I want to be a kid or even a teenager again. I hate birthdays, and have decided that I am not going to celebrate mine this year. Great poem though, I can so relate... Josh
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brilliant
When I was 24 I had 3 children, life wasn't crystal clear for me then either, but since my grandchildren have arrived I have seen why I am still here...........You take care of yourself and have a wonderful birthday, don't worry too much about letting people see whether you have grown up or not, I don't care, they can take me as they find me or they can leave me alone, it's as simple as that........Wonderful strong and honest write, fears I am sure many have and will continue to have for years to come........Sorry, hope you haven't fallen asleep after reading this.........Great write. take care......
Sanity.
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A JayLynn - I also did not wear any yellow in my life And for being 24 again? Weeeeeeell, perhaps for one single day, with the wisdom I've gathered, but nothing more than 24 hours!
Keep going, Gal ... you are doing fine
Adorable photo
Myra
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