Gathering fruitions of my bare soul
Seep not like demons of yesterday’s lies
Youthful virtuousness from whom they stole
Pledging immortality under guise.
Prattling spirits beneath my skull to warn
Coldness descends upon my tattered heart
Bartered soul forever to be forlorn
Besieged by vast fear that tears me apart.
Tranquility escapes this damned grim core
As Heaven’s skies billow above with black
Fearing too late to save the devil’s whore
Reach down to me with a thunderous crack.
My soiled misplaced soul I harshly lament
For fear of Satan’s return I repent.
Author notes
P a l o s z o o
In a list
A contest entry
- If you can't sway to the words, at least sing to them [Round 2] by xxRainbowDawnxx.
750 points, ended May 21, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
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1000 points, ended June 2, 155 entries
Silver trophy winner
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550 points, ended October 5, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
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600 points, ends December 1, 238 entries
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• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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(smiles softly)
This reminds me of a spell. Perhaps a curse or one that is to lend strength to keep from this fear you have. Either way I enjoy the flow and rhythm here. It drew out a tone in my voice I did not recognize as my own. I read it out loud. I find it to be very powerful and therefore I will welcome you to the finalists' list.
Your Czarina,
~Seraph -
This was a very powerful write you have here.It was full of emotions and feelings. You had some good rhyme on this one as well. It was dark and good. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.
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this poem is strong and full of emotion; i loved your use of diction and your rhyming was awesome. thank you for sharing and good luck in my contest
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Gathering fruitions of my bare soul
Seep not like demons of yesterday’s lies
Youthful virtuousness from whom they stole
Pledging immortality under guise.
wow.amazing.
Flawless rhyme.
thank you for entering
good luck -
"Gathering fruitions of my bare soul
Seep not like demons of yesterday’s lies
Youthful virtuousness from whom they stole
Pledging immortality under guise." I really liked that first stana. It was dark, but well written. It flowed well and you did a good job with the form. I enjoyed reading your poem. Thanks for entering and Good luck in my contest.
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the rhyming in this is just absolutly beautiful. I loved reading it! thank you so much for enteirng my contest and best of luck!
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that was very difficult to read. very superfluous with your words, arent you? it was very beautiful and the rhyming was subtly flawless. thank you for the entry
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Wow. This is absolutely beautiful. I love how you rhyme, and it all flows so well together. Thank-you for entering this piece into my contest.
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Pah, rhyme shmyme.
I was going to just mention that some commas or something would work well, too, but I've just read that sonnets don't do that at the end of each line! Oh well.
Your imagery is stunning, though. This is poetry, so beautiful and haunting and poetic.
"soiled misplaced" - maybe a bit cumbersome here.
Thanks for entering!
DancingRed.
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wow great take on the prompt great rhyming also
Thank you for entering and good luck
-♥Amy♥ -
Love this. So full of genuine
thoughts and TRUE meaning.
Very beautifully done.
I like the rhyme too.
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
-heva
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so well done
so much emotion good easy read and I really enjoyed reading it
you have done a very good job with this thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck in it
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congradulations on the silver
just stunning
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aaaaaw. Thank you so, so much.
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yes.
you'll have to ditch the rhyme though. -
I have been playing with the Sonnet that has the abab cdcd and efef gg scheme to it. You have a very well written sonnet I enjoyed it much it held the rhythm and rhyme were well done.
"rattling spirits beneath my skull to warn
Coldness descends upon my tattered heart
Bartered soul forever to be forlorn
Besieged by vast fear that tears me apart.
Tranquility escapes this damned grim core
As Heaven’s skies billow above with black
Fearing too late to save the devil’s whore
Reach down to me with a thunderous crack."
These two stanza's worked especially well. I enjoyed them very much Thank you for sharing. -
I do love sonnets, they are so passionate and you put this one forward most marvelously. I really dont know what to say other than well done.
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yes.
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lovely....it read to me more like a prayer...
but done really well...
good luck
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no.
sorry. -
yes
i normally don't like rhymes, but yes for this. :] -
Lovely.
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cool. its amazing u got that from a lily allen song. good luck in the contest!
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