i
she came from the late sixties;
her name meant ‘halo of the moon’
and she spent most of her time
swearing at her shadow -
something didn't fit
ii
she held her breath and
hoped she could count
for the rest of her life
but as she reached
ninety-four her lungs
punched her in the chest
and opened her mouth
iii
she always imagined
death tasted like mead
and felt like
the first flower of spring
growing beside
an unused train track.
Author notes
prompt: death
'mead' is my comparison of her and how she sees death.
In a list
A contest entry
- Pick a Number by Shadow of a Crow.
950 points, ended May 20, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is really powerful imagery. It is also very detailed. Just an amazing write. Every stanza and basically every line really had a beautiful or needed detail. I love how you give the meaning of her name rather than her actual name. I also love the irony of the name as compared to her demise. I love every description in this piece. This is poetry and especially imagery at its best. Brilliant write!
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So you got the "heavy" promt! Well done!
"she spent most of her time
swearing at her shadow -
something didn't fit..."
A very light and airy poem that still conveys the imposible weight of life gone unbearably wrong!
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This is exactly what I was talking about in my message. These are stunning, one of those rare poems you read that just make you feel different on the inside. Beautiful piece(s)
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this is such an unusual write. i like reading your work because i always know i will encounter something i wouldn't have otherwise thought of.
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Mead is a lively, potent drink. If drank in quantity will ease inhabitions enough to ease the process along.
But mead can have a bitter after taste, like death can have. Dream like quality, surreal
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I can only hope death feels just like you described.
In what could have been a dark write, you twisted it and made it beautiful.
Love,
Stacy
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Bloody brilliant my friend.
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That was so brilliant. Its like you told story in each small paragraph. You definitely have a style all your own.
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#8 is theme/topic: Death
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