AP members are so fastidious,
it's hilariously ridiculous.
Let's see you critique THIS write -
the booming voice of stereotype.
We'll start with the oldest of the old,
teenagers that are already cold.
They always manage to make me laugh,
the mysterious genre known as dark.
"Black roses and emo smoke,
Serpent of the deep, I envoke.
Hate my birth, no self worth,
out of my wrists the blood does spurt".
See what I mean?
It's just obscene.
Feel free to tear this apart
because it's anything but art.
Another thing I hate,
this deliberate mistake.
When you're trying to be promotional,
by being way too emotional.
"Drowning in my tears of pearl,
I am raped by an unloving world,
my heart is hanging from a tree...
'cause some guy does not love me."
Now here is something that "grinds my gears",
to the point of driving me to tears.
It extinguishes all poetic fire -
those poems about bloody vampires.
"Lying here in my coffin,
little girl's necks I'm-a-scoffin'.
I'm a vampire, alternative and sullen,
I wanna have sex with Edward Cullen."
It must seem "cool" to you,
to scribe about Nosferatu.
But come on dude, get a clue!
Don't bite off more than you can chew.
Romance and love and happiness
are unrivaled for their profound crappiness.
If music be the food of love, then please play on,
but poets, don't deafen us with your awful song.
"She's the one, cry I, "the one!",
Whenever she does grace me, I am stunned,
Oh my goodness, I'm so in love,
my heart is like a unicorn-shaped dove".
I could keep going, if need be,
but I'm sure, my friend, you hate me.
So I'll end it here, in this hour of glory,
and leave you with this pseudo-story.
Truth be told,
it's not that bad.
I'm just in the mood,
to make you mad.
A contest entry
- Think you're FUNNY?....like haha FUNNY?...or FUNNY like a clown?!?!!? by AtlantisGrave.
550 points, ended May 14, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - my favorites ONLY by whiterabbit..
510 points, ended May 25, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me funny! by Rebekah-Ann.
1400 points, ended June 2, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Try Your Hardest... Because It Is really hard to do with me. by SheWasPreternatural.
797 points, ended May 31, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Easy win contest. I'm simple. by happy kitty kat.
700 points, ended July 4, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me smile by XxLuckyxX.
1350 points, ended August 18, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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I loved this piece. Definitely brouggt a smile to my face and even made me laugh. I think what really did it was the fact that its so so true. I guess the truth really is one of the funniest things. The flow of the piece was great and except for lines 7 and 8 the rhyme scheme was perfect. Every line it seemed packed with humor. I was rolling by the time I got through it. I loved the ending too, it just adds more to it and caps off the humor. Thank you so much for this wonderful entry, it was a joy to read. Best of luck in the contest.
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Another epic effort from SAM. I love this one. The rhythm is really nice and musical, really conducive to being read. I could hear it in my head as I went along reading it which is really cool. The truth of it can't be denied either.
Many props and snaps.
x
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funny and true!
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too long for me to read the whole thing but,
i read half, then the ending, it was good, and i bet the middle was too. THANKS FOR ENTERING AND GOOD LUCK IN MY CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!! -
omg!!! lol
i am loving this, word up!!!!!!!!!
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hahahahahhahah! i loved your talk on the emo poems!
had me laughing!
Like really haha laughing!
excellent write
aand flawless rhyme, that wasnt forced either!
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Wait. What's wrong with vampires? Isn't the world a vampire?
J/k. Of course I'm kidding.
This is funny. Good job.
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fuckin a
lmfao oh... wow you had me dyin' at
"Drowning in my tears of pearl,
I am raped by an unloving world,
my heart is hanging from a tree...
'cause some guy does not love me."
right on. kudos for you.
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Much hilarity ensued.
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lol, this is soooo funny, worse i see me in some of those awful writes omg time to take a trip outa poetry land bravo this is so so good lmao
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Nailed it !
perceptive wit
well writ
having considered it
suggest you spit
at the MIKE of Def Jam Poetry
You're legit. -
lol
this is really goood
a very original piece, great idea!!
LOLIGANS
srsly
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"my heart is like a unicorn-shaped dove"
LMAO!! This was awesome my fellow poet, I didn't stop smiling throughout the entire poem because I know EXACTLY how you feel. Hell, everyone writes a love poem here and there but emo, scene and gothic dark writes just never appealed to...THIS poem however does.
Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck!!!
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Absolutely amazing! The poets that uniformly use these genres and rhyming schemes are just annoying to read and judge in contests. I don't think I could ever give one a gold in one of my contests.
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hahahahahhahahaa
omfg this is hillarious i love it best poem ive read in a long long time its sounds like some of my writing at times ( i mean the things you hate) but thats ok cause this is just a really fabulous poem i bet anyone who would read this would have themselves a really good laugh good job
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Rolling On the Floor
If you don't win this contest, I'm gonna throw myself off a building. Then again, some people like writing dark poetry, even if it does sound a bit emo at times. Anyways, this was a nice little poem to end the boring day with, even if it didn't have any dark obscure meanings and it wasn't dripping with raw emotion. ;-)
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hah this is great!
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Hahaha!
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YOU LITTLE STINKER !
You can sure tell SPRING IS IN THE AIR....
I believe a sweet poetic wasp...has arrived
to sting her courageous might.
There are quite a few poets
who I agree truly don't understand
the layer and texture of fine dark writing....
if ever...you need to peel your flesh
to find what is truly lurking inside
your dark innocent denials...
let me know...i'll get the bandages ready!
LITTLE STINKER!
ears/Seattle
(lol)
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there was nothing in this poem to make me mad. it tickled the pure shit out of me. you hit the proverbial nail on the head. i personally can't get with the dark, emo or too too sappy love stuff. and, i'm still trying to figure out what the heck is dirty pretty. i absolutely loved this.
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Fun write. No need to take it down any time soon, I think many agree with what you've written.
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LMAO wow..this is so messed up i love it it shows basically all the different types of poems and how most people are different and how you judge people on what they wright and what their are labeled as good job tho..btw you must b some sorta prep
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This is really quite funny. its good that you just didnt care, and I loved how the rhyme flowed so well...even when making fun! lol great write.
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Funniest write I've read for a while
Your writing is undeniable brilliance. What a great laugh, I have to re-read it (still laughing)
Please, please, please, please write more poems like this about other poetry genres & writing styles, etc. Please don't change your wicked sense of humour. I just read it again & i'm still laughing. This poem has been the highlight of my day (yeah i lead a fairly dull life, lol)
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LOL
I'm emo, and I enjoyed this piece. Its true, we do wallow in self pity too much (At times). O btw you forgot to mention vampire poems, and the usual. This didn't make me mad, it made me anything but! Hilarious!
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caustic
(we) all agree I'm quite sure
However, Not having a voice
Only breeds more self contempt &
Emos's are a necessary poetic choice
Try to be nice
(we) all have a way to go
before we can lose our own personal EMO
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lol
And i thought i was the only one tired of seeing blood/emo/wrists in the same stanza without feeling it. lol.
To the dark writers this piece directs to.. DONT TELL US, MAKE US FEEL IT.
Great job, btw.
Sean Wins
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Ha! You forgot the vampire poems.
This didnt make me mad just gave me a laugh. But great poem! -
Got a good laugh out of this... but truth be told, you made me anything but mad I enjoyed this piece immensely!
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LOL Nice work.
Best Laugh I've had today.
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hahaha,,, funny,,, nicely done
thanks for causing a giggle,,, hahaha
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