A child's eyes peer through frosted windowpanes.
Out on the dusty road, amidst the mist
Fireflies are circling in the dim light of dusk.
Beneath all the fog, as the daylight wanes,
Shadows are moving from under the drift.
The waking world sheds its thinly veiled husk.
(bang! bang!)
...Shhh, sleep my child
Eyelids are sinking into the dark
Like the shifting sands in the glass of hours
Consciousness buried far beneath the din.
Long buried memories begin to spark
A hazy image that slowly devours
Whatever's left of all that might have been.
(bang! bang!)
...Shhh, sleep my child
Dragons and demons and devils take shape
All manner of creatures come forth from the abyss
Of an imagination that knows no bounds.
Despite the horrors that threaten to rape
And scar a mind with insanity's kiss
The growl of monsters is a welcomed sound.
(bang! bang!)
...Shhh, sleep my child
A reprieve from the madness of the waking world
A night-long respite from the cruelty of mankind
No real danger as the dreams slowly unfurl
Sleep, the only rest for a war orphan's mind.
(bang! bang!...)
Author notes
I'm fairly certain I come in just under the 30 line limit (I originally wrote it without the little repeated lines between the verses, but it felt like there was something missing.
This was inspired half by you prompt and half by a song from Opeth entitled "Death Whispered a Lullaby".
A contest entry
- Dreams .... contest by Riftkin.
575 points, ended May 6, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Great job man.
Just amazing.
BAM -
Thank you for your take on the prompt... Dreams.
I enjoyed reading your poem.
Best wishes in my contest.
Riftkin
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Thank you for your generic, pre-packaged comment on my poem...
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For future referene, I'd prefer no comment, than a copy and pasted comment that goes on every entry.
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Fabulously written. Bravo.
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this poem is really good I felt as if I watched the events unfold
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Wow...after reading this I feel my poem is completely inadequate in comparison for this contest...your poem gave me chills and the repeat of the "bang bang" added so much more to the poem and it flowed with ease nothing seemed forced, and the title is absolutely perfect, I wish you the best in the contest...no doubt a shiny will come from your efforts in this wonderful write! Keep up the excellent work.
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The very title is what caught my attention right before i closed the window, im really glad it did too. i really like this alot
"(bang! bang!)
...Shhh, sleep my child
Eyelids are sinking into the dark
Like the shifting sands in the glass of hours
Consciousness buried far beneath the din.
Long buried memories begin to spark"
Thats my favourite part. and the repetition of the same phrase envokes a feeling of solemnity and almost fear. wonderful flow and such a subtle rhyhm. I loved it.
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Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've been wondering if anyone was going to catch the rhyme and rhythm. It's a fairly subtle, almost obscure rhyme scheme.
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts on a subject that could be sensitive, ive never heard the song mentioned in the authors notes, but i may have to look it up now, i like the added lines between each verse i think it as a lot of depth to this poem, My husband is in the Army and i cant imgaine being a young child in a country with weapons shooting all night long and being to to just sleep, you have put this very beautifully, good luck in the contest and as always keep up the wonderful writing, ~Amy
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I'm glad you like it. Honestly I had no idea where the poem was going till I got to the third verse. Then I just saw where it would fit.
On a side note. I don't expect anyone to know who Opeth is or that particular song. They are a progressive death metal band from Sweden. About maybe 20% of their stuff is softer music and ballads, such as "Death Whispered a Lullaby", but the rest is not for the faint of heart.
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