Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Raw


The fog inhabits the overcast sky
Haunting and omnipitent.
The sun banished from bloodshot eyes
and pasty cold skin.
Escapism floats away, inconsiderate as
Hopeless fingers grasp at lovers imprints.
Caustic tastes left on the tongue,
of unaccomplishment and failed attempts.
Only tedious tasks to sear through our thoughts
and amplify the bleak overhead clouds.

So, what do you think!?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • darling
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    wow.

  • Is This It
    May 11

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting...

    It doesn't seem to have any particular structure to it which for once actually works. It truly reflects a sense of sorrow almost, as though something was forever out of your reach. The brevety of the poem works nicely too. It could do with a little tweaking if I were to nit pick but for once I'm not going to. Well done, an excellent piece.


  • Pink Absinthe
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    hm.....thought provoking.
    you've talked a bit about escapism recently.
    like the last two lines =)
    xxxxxxxx


  • Nisk
    May 5

    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    This really captured so much and created such vivid images in my head, that I was lost for appropriate words for a long time, and i still am, so i'm just going to say that this really is great, i mean it!