The night was drowned out in tears.
I cried because she is gone.
She was taken from me
And I'm losing strength.
The one who holds my heart
Was taken from me.
And I don't know if I'll ever see her again....
On the inside, I still cry today.
A contest entry
- What makes you cry? by Forgotten Anomaly.
900 points, ended June 16, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You summed up a lot of pain in very few words. I could feel your pain in this piece, and in a way relate to it. Somehow the word 'today' as the last word in the poem seemed abrupt and misplaced, I read it as tonight first and only caught it as today second time through. Otherwise, there were no errors and I have no suggestions. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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thanks for the feed back ^_^ it is very helpful
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OMGosh I know exactly what this feels like... It's a pain that is horrible to bear... your few words hit the nail on the head... good job
always~
Steph
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=(
very sad wish there was somthing i can do to help
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Well this is sad
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This was so sorrowful, I wanted to weep whilst reading it. Truly moving, it was so beautiful. I wanted to hug you for writing this.
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It's about my lover being apprehended by my enemies.... and now, they are using her against me.
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