Looking up monument of stone large fills my vision
Stairs rise leading in sets to carved arches
Four corners guarded by honourable soldiers solemn posed
Solemn peaceful honourable glorious
On whose memory was this war memorial built
Was it on the memory of raped and murdered women and children
Did this memorial come from the memory of shredded disfigured corpses
Which memory of a diseased blood filled muddy trench built this monument
How glorious to have your family burned alive in their beds
How honourable to send off your children to be killed
How solemn the march through minefields to escape murder
How peaceful the weeping of mothers and the crying of children
Let us build an honest memorial to war
Let us build it from mud rocks and bones
Let us decorate it with blood and corpses
Let us write on it "Lest We Forget, The Innocent"
Author notes
Written March 10th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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children are like sponges. they absorb everything around them.they don't come into there own thinking till around their teenage years. thats when they look for the truth in things.truth is not an easy think to find when governments spread their propaganda. we are brain washed into thinking things are justified. the more we question the actions of our rulers , the closer to the truth we will be. a good poem with a strong message.
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JennyLee,
So far throughout history it has been the men we put in office who
send peoples loved ones off to war and then paint the false picture
of what really happened and why. The problem most of the time is they
do know something we don't , like their true motives. They are not swayed by public opinion because they create it, the majority of people are so absorbed with just getting by and living their lives and don't have time to think about what their leaders are really up to, so they just believe what they are told without a second thought. There is an old saying "people get the governments they deserve". -
I agree we glorify war and I wonder how many are truly necessary. I pray that the men we put in office no something I don't when it comes to many of these things and that they are not swayed by public opinion in these life and death matters.
Jennifer -
i definetly don't agree with the war. I think that war is falsely glorified to an extent. all i am saying is that the soldiers who were over for any war or are over there now, deserve repect for at least trying to defend us. I wish the world wasn't like this and that children were not raised that way. it does break my heart. If i could stop the war and end all of this i would.
alas i can not. I am sorry for getting so defensive. It's just that when you know someone who has been or is in the situation you get a little protective. I do see it from both sides though. i don't want to fight about it either. I personally think we should stick all the political leaders in a boxing ring and let them die for what they believe in. If they are willing to die, then maybe we should fight to, but if can not fight the war they have caused maybe we should do something about them instead. I dunno oh yea and a 500 lbs bomb is not selective nor was it meant to be. The people who create war do not care who is in their path and unfortunatley they run the place.
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I agree with you to an extent, modern wars are not so simple as the old wars. The poem is about how war is falsely glorified. No matter how brave and honourable a soldier is or how evil, a dictator is. War is not a beautiful thing. I don't want to get into an argument with you over Iraq,
we have all heard both sides of the story many times, people believe what they like. My point is what about the forgotten victims.
In regards to children carrying ak47s, do you ever wonder what sort of life that child must be living where it needs to carry such a gun.
I suspect the child would rather be playing ball games.
What about the children who don't carry ak47s and pick up bright orange cluster bombs thinking they are food rations or toys.
And tell me how selective is a 500 pound bomb is about who it kills. -
oh ya. and for those who think i think war is right i don't it is wrong and i don't agree with it at all, but i support the soldiers out there
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I agree about the acting honorably part. However many of the children that are shot are due to the fact that they have bombs strapped to them or an AK-47 and that is innocent? The wars are so much different that they used to be. The children are the ones who kill the soldiers that are taken over there due to contract. So you are telling me that my husband should have gone against his commanding officer and left the army after they told him he was going to iraq? as of now i am pretty certain that would be death or life in prision. the soldiers have families to come back to and a lot of what they did is for the pure survival of things. you can not truly understand until you have been sitting down with someone that was in vietnam telling you how they watched the people of vietnam turn on one another or how children were used against them. yes, things do happen and there are dishonerable people in the military. but there are also dishonorable people in society. so we punish the innocent for the acts of the guilty? What a wierd strange world people who have never seen war destroy their family live in.
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thank you fixwrtr
the strange structure of the first line is intentional
because as I walked by the monument the thought large did fill my mind, i guess punctuation might have helped make that clearer
Thanks for reading and commenting
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Thank you NotAPoet I agree with you that soldiers have a choice.
Sorry about the lack of punctuation. -
Eesha.
No choice is the argument the nazi solders used in war trials.
"I was just following orders" does not cut it even for a conscript.
Soldiers are responsible for how they conduct themselves in war.
Shooting a child in the back is a choice. Or raping a woman is a choice.
Soldiers are only innocent victims as well for as long as they act in an honourable way.
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The sentiment you express here is all too true and still quite hard to read. Everyone loses in a war, even the victor. And that is part of what I see and feel here. The lines are hard edged and uncompromising and truer for being there. You get off to a slow start and then the words and sentiments really start to roll, almost like a tank battering down everything in sight. However, the first line seems incomplete, like something is missing. Ex: "...Looking up monument of stone large fills my vision..." Looking up monument? Should it be looking upon a monument or looking up at a monument or looking up a monument? This isn't really clear. The rest is all too clear.
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The poem was great, i am thankful to all the ones who lost they're lives so we could be free and live here today, your poem was very powerful and you are very talented.
Brooke
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I hate war... its not just the soldiers who die but their familes suffer aswell... In Vietnam war more soldiers died post war than during the war... thanx for sharing...
mina -
Thanks ellybelly
We still use the old world spelling here in Australia.
So my spell checker makes me write it that way.
Thanks for reading my poem -
Eesha:
"The soldiers have no choice"
there is always a choice in EVERY instance, no matter what.
granted, the choice of one who is made to fight might be a tougher choice than most, one must recognise that the choice is there.
If someone forced me to kill people, i would choose my own death instead.
NotYourCupOfTea:
very cool write. around the middle, i had to reread a few times so it would sink in. that might be due to a bit of lack in punctuation or something, or might be due to the fact that my eyes really arent focusing very well right now. in any case, cool write, interesting idea.
Edited on Mar 10, 5:45 p.m. because ''. -
Thank you very much corpsegurl (by the way I love your name)
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Your poem sounded as if it would be honoring, but instead it became more powerful the writing that you chose good write
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Hi,
Thanks for your comments
I appreciate that you understood the structure of the first line thanks.
I don't know about it being anti-war it is about a monument
I would rather call this an anti propaganda poem.
The punctuation at the end is because here in australia
a lot of our monuments have "Lest We Forget" written on them.
I used the comment to extend it.
Like many monuments here this monument was built after WWI, but they kept adding names to it .
I don't agree that speaking up is futlie.
If that were so no lie would ever be brought out into the open,
Many things start with a single voice, it is just a matter of enough
minds catching the tune.
Regards and thanks -
a lot of innnocent lives are shattered this is very true. But remember that the soldiers are innocent in many ways to and they no less died to keep what we have today. The soldiers have no choice against what they fight only to stay alive and well for their families
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This is a beautiful poem. I am truly in aw right now. I have never really thought about it before. This just shows how much we take for granted. You did a great job.
Technically speaking, the poem had great flow and I really loved the imagery. It really brought in a clear picture. I like some of your "old world" speeling too. Like, honourable. I really liked that.
Great great write!
~Elle
PS I think zero99loved your poem.
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Thanks for stoppping by
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
You are lucky to have people in your family who remember what
war is actually like and can share that with you. As great wars fade into the past people forget how horrible it was for everyone concerned.
They said WW1 is the war to end all wars less than thirty years later we were at it again.
Regards -
Thank you
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sorry, i read this before and clicked on it again. i'll put it back in the featured section. sorry for that.
Peace and Love,
XOXO SammiJo! -
Thanks for reading my poem and your nice comments
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Thank you very much for your support
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this poem speaks the truth, many may not agree, but i see your piont clearly! war is so horrible and so many people die,and i am greatful for my country and soldiers, but lets not forget the children and women and men who are killed for no reason except being in a country were the leaders care for now one but themselves. i think you poem hits home,love it
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Ah an anti-war poem.
Ok. Well, firstly, punctuation. You eschewed its use until the last line. Was it your intention to divorce innocent from remembering?
As it stands it is a statement BY the innocent, not a plea to remember the innocent. I don't have a problem with 'monument of stone large fills my vision' associate the large with the filling of vision and it feels better. The monument is now blotting out all else and capturing your attention exclusively.
I could state that the memory was for those that cared enough to die for these very innocents, but thats not true is it? They were sent with little or no idea except propoganda. Some monuments do indeed show tragic scenes, but again, usually of the soldiers. I agree with the sentiment, but society tends to whitewash over the cracks doesn't it? Your approach is more honest, but not realistic. At the last it is always the individuals choice to mourn and of whom. Excepting genocide, which is thrust at us until we become overawed and thus callous to it.
A good point, well written, but ultimately futile, ut wikll change nothing. Thanks for the glimpse. -
This is beautiful. a little vivid, but i wouldn't have it any other way. It makes you stop and remember those who have died for us and our freedom. It truely is beautiful!!!
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I have read your poem and the comments perceding and I agree with naena mostly. People get all excited about war and forget all the innocent lives shattered. I think the people who get drafted are considered innocent too, because they HAVE to go or face prosecution. My grandpa was in WWII and my uncle in Vietnam so I always heard about how horrible it was. Luckily they werent involved in any heavy fighting.
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Powerful beyond words...
I have to tell you I read this last night and could not comment, it was that powerful to me... I think of the Wall of names for Vietnam in most every city and Washington DC. I think of the Oblisks that stand in church yards to Honor the sons who died in the Great War, later having the sons lost in WWII added to the bottom or another side... Arlington National with its row upon row. I often thought they should leave the remnants of the Twin Towers as a stark reminder... Instead there will be a sterilized rebuild... I just cannot express how this touched me... Maybe if the united nations met at a table balances on the remains of those who died in each deegates country things would be different... Anyway enough of my rant... I wish I could applaud this more than once...Susan -
wow this is awesome. You are absolutly right. It isn't right to glorify war and pretend it to be something that its not. If a true mounument were to be built for war it would look like nothing we have now. A truly thought provoking poem.
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Great Job
Very Very good poem. Amazing in a word. I guess not many people think of all that goes on in a war. War is a vital part of our lives, even if we dont like that concept, which is a very hard concept to grasp, however, we must realize it is a part of us. You are right however, its not glorious, its not heroic, its gruesome. It takes away things we do not want to give away. It takes lives away from good men and women....As much as it does take away, it also gives alot to us as well. It gave us our freedom for instance. I loved the poem and what a great message you are sending. -
Extremely powerful and your percepion I am sure is shared with many, although some are afraid to speak out. I agree with you and have never really thought about war memorials as much, they seem to me to be a place where we go and look at and feel sorry for all the poor soilders. You have touched very well on the realitys of war.
Lakota x -
Thank you for your comment,
There needed to be comma in there somewhere
The lack of flow was intentional
Large is just a thought thrown in, i guess I could have left it out.
Regards
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(I'm pretty sure it's "looking up, A large monument of stone fills my vision)
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Wow.. that's pretty blatantly put.. a good idea though, that seems like the true way to make a stand on war.. (though I'd never like to visit that kind of war memorial..) Good write, it was quite brilliant.
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This was an interesting concept. True enough, we do seem to focus more on the glory following war than what goes on during the war...and the mass slaughter that a war actually is. You caught my attention with this one and really got me thinking. I do have one little suggestion though. In your first line:
"Looking up monument of stone large fills my vision"
-Should this have been "large monument of stone fills my vision"? Or maybe "monument of large stone"? It just seems awkward the way it is and I wasn't sure if it was a cut and paste error.
Anyway, Thanks for sharing...I enjoyed it! Naena
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Wow very good poem and very descriptive. It's great that you can share what you believe with everyone. Keep up the wonderful writing.
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OHHH! Wow! Amazing! Stunning! Brilliant!! AWESOME last line! I completely, 100% agree with you. While reading this I thought of the Vietnam wall...then images of all the horrid things some of those soldiers did to innocent civilians - because they were told to trust no one. I can't remember the specific name for the place, I just hope you know what I'm talking about - when they killed a whole village from fear and insanity.
Beautiful work! Speak out for the generations! Stand for your beliefs!
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