'Yoo mista’ ...
hava’ time for me
pleasure in your arms
but through your eyes I see-
see tomorrow’s wings
flya’ me away
to your home where not much rain
and maka’ brighter day.
Yoo, sir,
lova' yoo lone’ time,
just to leave wi’ yoo
hear da churchin chime
floors with no mud pigs
food and less I weep
doctors to cure my babies
clean sheets so I can sleep.
You mista’,
giva’ yoo this charm
maybe lucky god you have
hold me in his arm,
maybe lucky God you have
hold me in his arm!'
(See also under M. Dianne Berry)
Author notes
Written March 21st, 2002
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Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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good poem
This is a very nice poem!
Good job.
~Evan~
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This is so good .I could hear the pleading the accent .You gave the reader within a few stanza insight in to a way of life a history the character of this younge girl Excellent read and write
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Sheer Drama in the making!!!
Sheer stunning beauty at its finest with this very beautiful poem in motion...
I felt the raw e-motions being sung beautifully from word to word...
It t'was quite interesting to picture this poem in motion and you really added body and volume in this poem...
I am out of applauds but I stand up and give you a standing ovation with this magnificent poem in the making... & applauds most beautifully written poem ever. :-) smiles * Sincerely, Paul :-)
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Great Poem
Thanks for the comment on my poem. This is a very realistic piece of writing. I really enjoyed it. You have a unique style which I truly love -
Thank you ever so much!
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great!
I love the language of this... thank you for commenting on my poem and I appreciate the suggestion -
If I hadn't read any of your work before, I probably would have gone on a bad grammar rampant, hehe. But this is one of those times where a writer who konws grammar rules can break them. I love the tone of this piece, the language and teh voice that is very easily heard. It's vague, but specific, and reminds me so much of the voodoo Louisiana culture.
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excellent
Another excellent bit of work ... I am SUCH a fan! -
don't touch it!
This is amazing, cookie...so much to be gleaned from this poem. What will a person do to make a better life? What extremes does the circumstances around us, push us to? What is right and what is wrong when the world is on it's head? I love a poem that forces a person to see a 'sin' or something we'd call 'distasteful' as more than that...as a human being, with thoughts, feelings, pain, and a need for love. Deep down, we really are alike. Fantastic write. x -
don't touch it!
a-HA.
ahem.
during the past few months i've spent frequenting allpoetry, i've had the pleasure of reading MANY fantastic authors and MANY wonderfully written poems. however, i can't think of a single write that i have so consistently returned to. this has such staying power and STILL, i can't name the mystique that allures me to DaNang Suzi. i've listed three poems on my 'favorites' bin and this is one of those.
(kind of wanted a chance to rate it... things are always changing, eh?) -
excellent
i love the way it's written...it's as if you can hear this woman's voice. you can see a visual of her life...the mood of desperation is captivating. -
gosh, stephanie...how sweet....My goodness! Thank you.
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god... this is SOOOO good! i 'ad to make another trip!
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Rubee: Thank you dear!
Chris- That was a wonderful review you just posted on this. *Smiles*. You are correct..My husband was there in '69 and I just had to voice the other sad side. -
and while the harsh reality of Vietnam completely transformed a generation from the savagery of the war and the reality of life and death, I see that today the influence of the Vietnamese on the US melting pot has been so benevolent to our society in many ways- in literature, religion, agriculture, even small business - .... an excellent write!
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Such talent for writing..a pleasure to read!! :)
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I see Saigon City, 1967. This is......outstanding, profound, sad. Writing this completely in dialogue makes me think, why didn't I think of it first. Great work.
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Wow very intense. no matter what culture woman are always looking for a way out. I need a mister to take me out of this tiny apartment. Just joking I like doing it own my own. Anyways wonderful write.
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stephanie....glad you got it on all my aims. You are right..hehehe. I place the sins and afflictions of wars to be layered with some kind of purpose!Bless you for your total application to its reading. CookieZeal
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wow, cookie.
this is brilliant on so many levels.
it captures the mentality of a suffering woman, willing to embrace a completely different culture (to include its Gods) in order to escape a reality of poverty (?).
this deserves to be read aloud, and i enjoyed every second of it. in fact, i've re-read it several times and each time,it is more beautiful.
this piece has a certain mystique to it. i can't place my finger on the allure,but it is most definitely there. -
lol
grannyrosie used to warn me bout girls like these
smiles
thisis really well done Cookie
smiles
hugs -
Well done.
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