despair

as these dark walls follow me into the shadows
as these memories haunt me without warning
breaking every rule just to get me out of the picture
breaking every chance to keep me here with ones that matter

feeling like i can't do this anymore
feeling like i can't go on with this life i've got
feeling like a fearful barrier on top of everything has been cursed on me
can nothing make me happy or will i continue to live in despair

broken without reason broken without fear or pain
with nothing there feeling like i'm as useless as a rock on the ground
no caring about me only the ones around me
but why do i always fall for the traps life sets for me

is nothing i do good enough for anyone to acknowledge what i do
shattered with unexplainable fear scared to tell anyone even the one that is loving me
but why do i fear what do i fear
facing it head on only creates more problems for me and makes it worse

maybe thats why she can't face hers maybe thats why i can't get her calm
i just wish for at least one day no of us would freak out have any problem at all
but that wouldn't be life. i see what it's trying to do
by facing is only tuffening us up for what lies ahead of the world and future.

with a love so strong like ours nothing should get in the way
i just wish restraining wasn't physical or hurtful towards us all
unable to make a choice of my own life let alone helping others
i just wish everything wasn't so    ing difficult.