Death Alley (Part I) http://allpoetry.com/poem/2586826
Death Alley (Part II) http://allpoetry.com/poem/2809178
DEATH ALLEY III
Again that moon’s night
And this time the girl had reached
Before him
Before the mid night
Before the other souls
(Look like her fear is much reduced now therefore, she seems much confident)
But he was late
(While she was impatient to see him, it was hard to bear the suspense)
A bit late than last visit
And he reached
From the heights of skies
But in more pain
With more tears
Aafs!
It was Dreadful
His crying voice
And bloody tears
(Like wise memories are more Freshen, may be because these are the Periodic
Days of his life)
Aww!
So Pity
That girl was crying too
She couldn’t bear
(As it was hard to bear the sobbing and sadness of the guy, after all she was a girl, and she spoke to him)
This much Pain!!!
You have?
She Asked
This much tears?
With blood in them!
Voice so trembling
Eyes which are so tired
You’re so weaken
Aww! So tired mass…
You white dress
Wet tears
I can’t bear the view even
How did you face your days?
(She was just imagining the intensity of pain, which was still there, even after Death, So How terrible the life of guy would have been ….)
(The guy was looking much broken tonight; he had left no strength to speak…)
Please,
Speak your Heart out
Speak! What ever you want
Speak! What you have never spoken
Say Something!
Don’t Cry…….. Please,
Just for Once, Open your mouth!
What ever is buried inside your Heart
Tell!
I can’t say. You will die
(She is telling like someone using phrase for an alive person, when pain is unable to bear)
That So Much
Pain Even after Death
Alaa!
.
.
.
.
Finally, He spoke something
I can……… Can’t
…………………….
…………………….
…………………….
(Crying Badly)
Go naa!
Don’t Touch my Heart
It’s so much broken
Don’t try too,
Please, go away
Let me Remain in this Alley
DEATH ALLEY!!!
Here,
Where no one can see me
On one can see my eyes
Where no one can hear my voice
Just this place of Death
And my solitary voice
…….
You can’t give me anything back
The smiles I had
The love in my Heart
And a Solid and Sincere Heart
To Any one
.
.
.
(Silence from both sides, remains sobbing of him)
[Continued]
Look! I’m still sincere
The thorns they have left here,
I do love them
The reminds we Owed
Now Forgotten, But I still miss them
.
And I wish, May I get them again!
Again!!! (The girl almost shouted)
Even, you got this much Pain
This much tears
Yours never ending Sobbing
………..
………...
…………
Ohh! What Happened?
The Girl Lost Her Breaths
Her Heart Stopped Beating
And she left this cruel world
Is that for boy?
Or because of THAT wish
In which he asked the time to come back!
Both Souls traveled to Seventh Sky!
And at last … He Smiled!
The Only thing which she wanted…
(Death Alley is on its end… the guy finally got something to smile from this cruel world… and his soul got an eternal rest… may be no more tears will ride on his cheeks… but what if another guy or girl get the same desire? Desire of living this way in Death Alley… Don’t break Hearts… Try to be affable and kind to people… there are some, who are so sensitive… they may not bear things you do … please, be sincere… don’t give them hope… if you can’t care for relations… then don’t go behind them for making fun of relations)
By A.Ghani Shahzaib two.true.friends@gmail.com
The poet of hearts and beautiful words
The one who lives in hearts!
Friend for friends
Author notes
So, Finally Death Alley Part Three is Here 
To Rock at AP!!!!
t h e . p o e t . o f . h e a r t s
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A contest entry
- Dark writes contest!!!! Check it out by Englandgirl2008.
450 points, ended May 17, 71 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm not afraid of no ghost...so I'm of good cheer by Denerica.
900 points, ended June 10, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abuse and fear. by WednesdayJade.
1250 points, ended August 5, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ordinary morality is only for ordinary people by Miss Macabre.
700 points, ended July 1, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Send me away with emotion by Fallen-Thumper.
500 points, ended July 10, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - INVITE CONTEST for my two groups. Friends of Trekkergirl and The Group of life by trekkergirl.
900 points, ended July 16, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Eating Below My Skin by micaelalseth.
650 points, ended October 30, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You Thought You Had Me? by shysky.
550 points, ended October 28, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - pushing me away ♥ linkin park contest by adolescente.
1000 points, ended November 18, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me did you feel or not :P and Offcourse not :P
Comments
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please put in the song you picked for a prompt in your AN.
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the title rang a bell and I know I have commented on this before somewhere tehehe
x
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This is a very good piece. I like how you wrote it. Very dark. I like. Keep up your great work. Congratulations on your trophies!
Twiztidmaggot -
very interesting... very dark... very long poem. You did well with it though. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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a very doark oem and i liked it. liked the layout aswell really well written.
good luck and thanks for entering -
This poem was all over the place. I'm not really sure about it. It was dark and sorrowful though. Thanks for entering, good luck.
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The three parts kinda confuses me ; but i like all the depth in it ; the emotion ; all of it !
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lol.... my heart is so much broken? Wow... can anyone say sympathy applause? here... have three more...
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i do not like the fact thers 3 parts
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I probably should have read the first two of this trilogy, but I still liked this poem. It was dark, but I like dark. You also had some great imagery in there. Keep up the good work.
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very powerful and deep. vividly portrayed. your words so touching, beautiful and sad. what a great tale and message you conveyed.
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very intense. there seem to be a lot of things going on here. it seemed to be written just as you were thinking about it. i like that. good job and good luck in the contest!
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wow
excellent, just amazing -
Interesting, intense and something to think about, significant to what we wonder on. Thanks for entering. Blessings.
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omg
this is good a few grammer mistakes. but its good. Chi keep up the work. i can't wait to see the next installment.
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wow. I pretty much cried during some of this lol
you did a really great job.
nicely written
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Nicely written I really enjoyed it but you do have a few spelling mistakes you might want to go through it and proof read or have someone proof read for you. It is mostly just letters left off a word. Thank you for sharing.
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Good God.
Bloody hell
this was amazing.
Long yes but so worth reading it.
I loved this. Dark ....I loved it. Every
word of it made me want to carry on reading.
Imagery/150
Style/100
background/30
Prompt used/0
Prewrite/50
fresh write/0
Total points: 330
Fave parts: But he was late
(While she was impatient to see him, it was hard to bear the suspense)
A bit late than last visit
And he reached
From the heights of skies
But in more pain
With more tears
Aafs!
It was Dreadful
His crying voice
And bloody tears
This much Pain!!!
You have?
She Asked
This much tears?
With blood in them!
Voice so trembling
Eyes which are so tired
You’re so weaken
Aww! So tired mass…
You white dress
Wet tears
I can’t bear the view even
How did you face your days?
(She was just imagining the intensity of pain, which was still there, even after Death, So How terrible the life of guy would have been ….)
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dark much?
wow.
thanks for sharing -
Thank you
I have read all iii parts and want more!..........It did draw me in. I found part iii a little more difficult to read than i and ii. You describe the pain of betrayal very well. Thank you once again x
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HUmmz, THanks alot, it was not a little time to read three parts, they are really long
but im happy that my words didn't disappointed you
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Wow this is amazing greatt job, it is very emotional and I can picture the story as it happens in my mind, keep on writing
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I pictured it already
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I find it very intriguing. you should write like this more often. very good, and congratulations!
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I have got an Idea, Soon I shall start writing a new Poetic Drama
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I guess I did not understand your msg when you said you wanted me to read this first. Anyway, it is a tantalizing write, scary at some parts, but the grammar could use a once over. I don't recall any spelling mistakes, but never hurts to spellcheck. It held my attention for the most part, and I enjoyed reading it. I've read worse.
However, this contest was hosted for my friend Liam, who was injured in a car accident. He was in a coma and recently woke up. And my apologies, but this isn't something I would read him. He needs uplifting poems and encouraging words, and "Death Alley" isn't one I think he would find all too enjoyable laying in a hospital bed. But, it is a well done write, just didn't fit this contest. I would strongly consider adding this to my other contest, "Best Prewrites" because you have a better shot at winning that than you do winning this one. Thank you for your time and effort.
xx
gypsy -
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I feel.. there is alot more to do...
It's alright, im happy he is fine now
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I love it...very emotional...i have no words for how good this is.8-]
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The piece held my attention. The only breaks in the flow I felt was the grammar (which needs corrections at certain points). It is script-like in its flow and thus the punctuations will help it get better.
The piece is striking. Sad, desperate, melacholic, violent in its own way but hold my attention.
What an effort at composition! Bravo!
Cheers
Sandy
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Wow, Sandhya is Here
One of my Student in Urdu
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i really like this
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I really like this. I think that is it amazing. Keep up the good work.
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Oh
Thanks alott *Flowers*
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The poem was nice, but the end was even better!
Very touching! -
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it seems like you were emoticonaly involved with this piece- realy good read.
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Involve with Heart and Soul
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I can see you have put your heart and soul into this poem, and I like the positive stuff at the end, of how one should live their life. I would suggest you grab a friend who speaks english well, and get them to help you revise this poem. You had some great imagery and emotions throughout this three part poem, and I enjoyed reading. Thanks again and keep on improving your writing here. Take care.
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Yupz, If you read my previous poems, you will notice change in them and improvement
im trying hard.
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Wow, this is amazing.
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this is good..... amazing actually... very detailed. very much from the soul.. Great work...
Many blessings...
Green Mother Rose
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Quite a dark and emotional piece of work you have here, good job. I must say, the lines
"Here,
Where no one can see me
On one can see my eyes
Where no one can hear my voice
Just this place of Death
And my solitary voice
You can’t give me anything back
The smiles I had
The love in my Heart
And a Solid and Sincere Heart
To Any one"
really touched home.
Keep up the good work
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Wish I could make it more painful
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wow, this was epic in every sense of the word. I felt this, I enjoyed this a whole damn lot. The only single thing I could think about is kinda revising the dialogoue part so it would be easier to read, but besides this, its a masterpiece to be proud of I can tell you worked your ass off on this and believe me it paid.
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I feel.. there is alot more to do...
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I'll come back when I've got more time
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I think, I'm waiting for your come back
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awesome
I loved the story, I am yet to be convinced this is a story of female empowerment though. thank you good luck -
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Yet to Be Convinced
Ask me then
If I hadn't put a Girl infront of him, That Guy Would have Cried for Centuries, till the Judgment Day
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wow, this is very good! I would like to see more like this, it's very deep and amazing!
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wow verry deep.
stunning. -
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Have you read Part I and II?
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Have you read Part I and II?
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wow this was freaking awesome you like a poem genuis i dont even know what to say
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que?
i thought it was a bit hard to follow and i tended to be distratcted by the grammar mistakes. the meter is all over the place. im not going to kiss your ass. interesting concept and imagry but it needs work. -
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If only you would have read I and II, it won't be such hard then...
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Wow this is amazing!!!! i really love it and you are great writer..... I really think this is amazing.. honestly my favorite.. great write!!!
Ciara -
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I should be in your Favorite as well
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loved it ....it's really intense and deep. kinda has a dark tone (tragedy & love).....you a great writer ....... keep writing
standing novation
oncore
ffb
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Oye Great Poet
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i liked it, it was deep and spoke to the soul but it wasnt over done
;]
☮♥panic -
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wasn't over done means
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Penned well, though parts were more imature than the rest of the piece.
Death Ally. I honestly can't think of any substitutions, but I believe there can be a better name. It was just tiny things such as that. But all in all, this was amazing. Breath taking. Wow.
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This is amazing, Crazy Boy! Such a sad tragic love story...He doesnt want her to hurt him... Wow. I dont have much time, so i will say this: This is a masterpiece and you should be very proud.
-Crazy Girl
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If My Crazy Girl is with me
Then, I can have Proud all the timmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee
Love and Caressssssss
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I love it will write you soon
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omg
i love it so powerful...i enjoyed every minute of it..great job
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Did you Search yourself some where there
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That was really beautiful! I think you made a few mistakes but it was still good
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line 76:
i think you meant : No one can see my eyes, instead of On one can see my eyes. -_-
i have to come back and re-read this and the other two parts when i can think beyond spelling. D8 -
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wow amazing, its so dark and so sad, i love it, i like how it was like script, it flowed well, i love it
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I lked the poem alot! Especially your structure.
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oh, wow, this is completely amazing, wonderful job!!
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A good poem...details well sought out...a dark take no doubt for a positive image to be conjured...
All the best in the contest!
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I loved this poem. great job and btw how do I know you lol?
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how Do you know I means?
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omg
i love this poem
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what can i say that hasnt already been said here = ]
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ehehe, Lolz.
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whoa that was amazing! your imagery is outstanding.....!
kind of a depressing ending lol
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omg! this is amazing!
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Wow. I really like this. =] Good write.
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truly beautiful work i loved every word the inrire story great work -bows- and truly amazing write keep it up
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omg this is so sad
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Oh, Love for you Mysterious
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wow!! tht wuz beautiful!!!
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Sorry I wasn't the first to read it! I just got to school. I LOVED this! Its beautiful, brilliant, magical, beyond describing!
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Oh,ho no Need to say sorry
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this is amazing.... i absolutley love it. I havent read one and two but i think i will.
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wow..this poem is amazing!! good job.. i can imagan everything that is going on, as i read!! good job
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