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A Part

A part of society ?
Which is not a part of me---
For how can I be

Society is not free---
And how I long to be!

Oh- God grant me a wish?
Allow me to see?
Let me be left a part------ Like a leaf alone on the sea.

Floating into eternity
Don't let them look or speak to me!

I wish to left alone--- A part of no one
Tell them- to let me be!

They are not a part of me

For I belong --Only
To Thee

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • forestfate
    October 5

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    i hope that one day we can all brake these chains that imprsion us


  • 2lullabyhaven
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    Another grand last line, thanks for your entry and good luck


  • Starswhispers silver member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    This was a little difficult for me to relate to my contest subject, it is as well in need of some editing which should be easy for such a short poem.
    Thank you for your entry.
    God bless


  • black-phenoqu
    July 4
    Edit | Reply

    a little too religious for my taste,

    but i like what you are saying here.


  • Antebellum
    June 25

    Edit | Reply
    I think you may mean " A Part" not "apart"
    thats two different meanings. apart, is like "lets taks this apart" and A part, is like "You are not a part of me."

    Thats not a real good example lol...but yeah, I understand what you mean here, I just think you may be using the worng usage.
    thanks for entering.


  • Queen of Shadows
    June 18
    Edit | Reply
    so true


  • Blueskywonder
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully expressed with the sincerety of true soul speaking up for itself
    one must never forget that (I) is an ugly concept invented to divide the fullness we all seek in one another.we are all part of the greater picture to honour this life and all life born into it, like a mother. Love is a wisdom born with life that will ultimately nurture itself
    Thank-you for sharing such honest emotion with we


  • BluRosePoet8488
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering and good luck! Keep theink flowing!
    ~Donna~

  • mackers1
    June 11
    Edit | Reply
    that wasnt really about the topic what is heavn it really wasnt but keep ryin


  • Heva Feva
    June 5
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
    -heva

  • sleepinglion
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    Yes there is a deep yearning here I can identify with
    Floating into eternity, wonderful
    David


  • Night Terrors
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    that is so great I loved it nice flow good rhythme sounded really great out loud You have some intresting styles I really like them.


  • Sgt. Pepper
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    well done, i like the flow,
    but my contest is about abandonment, and your talking about belonging to someone..dont really get itt


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    May 3

    Edit | Reply
    Honestly .. I didnt quite get the message you were trying to send out with this poem, maybe im just having a blonde moment, i don't know. But thanks for entering it in my contest


  • Sunday Rain
    May 3
    Edit | Reply

    ...

    good luck in the contest, glad to see you writing again

1 - 15 of 15