Stand before you take a bow,
think about us then and now.
Grant the sun another set
to polish this serrated day.
Show me what you can deduce
for splintered love we thrust obtuse.
If merged as one we do attempt
to leave this path we've led astray.
Do redeem the wayward doe,
with staunch eyes on grievous crow,
haunting skylines absent truth;
The once divine, nevermore.
To perceive pure innocence
is to pursue true penitence;
birthing promiscuous saints
from every celibate whore.
Ignore the horrible punctuation... it gets the point across.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
I think perhaps this particular piece could do without the punctuation. I really like it though. Great attention to the structure and rhyme scheme. I can do a lot of styles, but I can't do dsonnets... just never really click with me. I like reading what other people come up with for one though! All over a great feel to the poem. It belongs in the categories you have placed it in
lol Great write!
-
horrible punctuation aside this is wonderful I am a fan of interesting cultures particularly greek and roman. well done
-
wow!!! deep and full of vivid images...I just love the rhythm and flow of this entire piece...no changes needed it is perfect just the way it is...thanks for sharing...peace an dlight always in ALL ways...kp
-
gawd...I love this poem....that last line was etched
so perfectly!
well done!
ears/Seattle
way to write...popped our eyes open!
clever, clever!
-
The last stanza really blew me away, great job! Nice flow and the rhyme was smooth
-
smartly written and the last lines...
boldly hit their aim and impact!
way to write!
keep that ink flowing!
ears/Seattle
-
I think you have don an awesome job with this Sean!
I seen you tell in the chat room that you had written a sonnet, and I just had to look and am so glad that I did. I have written just a hanful myself. They always seem to turn out quite well. I love a cool modern day sonnet!
This is one!
-
very nice
I like this piece. I love the last lines:
"birthing promiscuous saints
from every celibate whore."
This is a powerful poem, I like the slightly dark feel to it. As for punctuation I believe that punctuation can kill a poem so I don't even use it. My brain flows without pause and it comes out like that in my work.
This piece has a modern day Edgar Allan Poe feel to it, so I am automatically biased. I love it.
-
AMAZING!!!!
WOW! Great thought, and nice flow!
GREAT LINES -
To perceive pure innocence
is to pursue true penitence;
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
