empty glow

Not feeling at all like i used to
these pill's making emotions into vertigo
confusing me utterly
even as i'm breathing along your skin

Can't construct a use-full criticism
as to why i feel this way
but empty is as depression does
and these pill's hollow me out
hypnotised into shadows
don't know what i did today
i won't be like you
i refuse to stay this way
this is always the way it goes

My life is a reconstruction
from secondhand bricks
someone else's memories
have been tucked in with my own
much as i try to forget them
they push my own out of frame
when i'm with you
i can't just be myself
alway's thinking about what iv'e said
break my heart now
go on now you know your supposed to
that's your part in this production

So take a breath and blow me out
as a candle flickering in the breeze,
a spark of emotion flaring in shadow's
finding it hard to speak fluently
so i lay in bed alone
watching the glow of the sunrise
around the edges of the blind's
stilted thought process tell's me i'm OK
with serotonin on the up-rise
and interest in the subject on the down
simply dulling out the darkness in my mind
another bandage on a gaping wound
you don't want to understand
you just tell me to make it go away

Despite the pill's
my mood's still change like the wind
but now,

silently, unpredictably

the fuzziness around the edges of my mind

can only last so long as to destroy all my decisions

completely change my emotions

and dull out all thought's of you.....