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Subcutaneous Layers of Enigmatic Christmas Ornaments

I crushed the bulbs in consecutive colors
that displayed an enigma of rays on my bedroom wall.

Maybe it was the crack-cocaine
or maybe it was the lambent lights flickering,
but I got sick all over the place.
Discontent with my headache and eyesores.

Crusted jewel ornaments cut my skin
as I glue them...one by one...
in a fashion similar to that of a mosaic,
only this one is completed by Picasso.

 

My television screams in black and white at me

but through the pink noise I can still hear you.

Twisted head games you used to play with me

seem like a euphoric and tantalizing fantasy now.

 

 

I cut the strings attached to the lights

that illuminated by bathroom walls....

Author notes

Title was a prompt I created for a contest.

In a list

A contest entry

what do you think of this?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Kathraina silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    I'm strangely drawn to this
    Marvelously written. I love your word usage.
    Bravo


    ♥ kate


  • JessicaMarieLewis
    May 5
    Edit | Reply
    This isnt what im use to reading and i must say it was very good.


  • DinkyDiver gold member
    May 3
    Edit | Reply
    this is different and a extremely enjoyable read welldone xx


  • Mr. Grey
    May 3

    Edit | Reply
    Ouch for the jewled ornaments cutting you. This is an odd piece to say the least, but I like it a lot. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.


  • Master Anarchy
    May 3

    Edit | Reply
    For no reason, as I read the opening line aloud, singing William Blake's Jerusalem just done, I read "orders" in place of "colours". I can say when I read the 2-line preview, I wondered what "consecutive" is in the context of colours, rainbows be damned to infinity. (Being a painter, maybe I have gone a view too far - back to the poem, the point having been the first I made, a curiousity to my mind).
    *********
    Twisted head games you used to play with me seem like a euphoric and tantalizing fantasy now. = a great concept.
    **************
    Somehow I feel a wrap around tactic would go well to complete where the elipses simply leaves a half formed image to go down the drain just past "bathroom walls". By wrap around I mean a return to the first lines' concepts. This springs to mind:

    I cut the strings attached to the lights
    that illuminated by bathroom walls swing
    free in consecution to crash enigmatically

    I omit a full stop deliberately (an editor's nightmare without an author's note).
    ************
    In general I think direct reference to drug use were better replaced or at least supplemented by visceral decriptors lest those who drug free be fail of one's words conceptually. Synonyms(sic) like "crack cok' " (=> a break in a mutual OK, eg) are another matter altogether.

    The TV I bit, again, is great: one wonders why the narrator does not "feel", rather than "hear" that "you" mentioned, if only for a greater sense of surrealism through synethesia (sic).

    Until Come the Next Time,
    Master Anarc'



  • white stone
    May 3

    Edit | Reply
    That is visually stunning in my imagination, great imagery. Crushing bulbs in consecutive colors, truly outstanding.

1 - 7 of 7