Crouched and huddled
in a murky bloodied puddle,
Frazzled mind crumbled and fuddled.
Cloaked in gruesome garments, Tragedy struck
Bound in chains of evil magic games
Abounding pain
In crackling burning flames.
Seeking the culprit
whose to blame.
Alas..the shameful crown
Is mine to claim
Author notes
I have just tweaked this a little.
What did you think ? please bear in mind that i'm not a poet though i am willing to learn and appreciate constructive criticism.Thanks.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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If Amera calls you a master, you can't very well not admit to being a poet...
This complements the Pink Floyd Im listning to... -
Nicely done. I enjoyed the rhyme. It suits the message well It was a very good poem.
Well done.
Mike
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a good poem and yeah sometimes we only have ourselves to blame for the sadness we find ourselves and it takes someone strong to admit to that ache
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You really are a master of the dark genre. This poem is wonderful with vivid imagery. My favorite line is: "Bound in chains of evil magic games"
Love,
Amera♥
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this too is a dark night poem that emerges to place fear and wonder in my mind very interesting and thought provoking
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Captivating
Dark and foreboding...left me with an eerie feeling of doom. A very dark write indeed. Very Poe in it's capture and content. Well done.
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We must always pay for our mistakes. Alas the crown we must wear sometimes. I really liked the way you finished this! A powerful finish filled with truth.
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