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A Conjured Up Fairytale

Those beautiful stars, splayed
throughout our very universe,
it's out of this world. A somber
moon shines below, its message
to me clear as glass.

I am alone right now, grasping
onto something that probably
doesn't exist. Is it just in my head?
The line was crossed tonight, and
now there's no turning back; no redo.

Why is this happening? That girl
I love wants me; it's impossible. This
is just another sad dream sequence.
Reality is never this easy. Everything
is over; she said it was all in my head.

My heart fell hard for something that
was a fairytale I wanted to believe in.
I'm now ignored like the plague by her;
this isn't new. Words I want to speak to
her but can't. Now I ask myself, why me?

Someone wake me from my agony if she
ever decides to call. A misty fog has now
enveloped me; I'm frozen in my nightmare.
Tell her my breath stopped since she made
it vanish.  Make me believe this isn't happening!

Author notes

This was inspired by All in my head by Nick Lachey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igI-gY5MnMw

x x l o v e s t r u c k a n g e l x x

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    Soul searching seems like it surrounds us all, envelopes us even. I like the way this pulls you through the journey of nostalgia. A good piece indeed.


  • dutch2lips gold member
    July 28
    Edit | Reply
    i liked this write, thank you for entering


  • Unbreakable3
    July 9
    Edit | Reply
    this is a good poem the style is a bit on the unfamiliar side but it's good! i like it!


  • rainbows. gold member
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    I think there could have been more emotion, metaphor, imagery. But overall really good piece. Thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    June 9

    Edit | Reply

    Yes.

    I really like this. Though, I think there could have been more emotion added to it, it's still a great piece.


    Thank you for entering. (:


  • Intoxicated Dreams
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    w o w, talk about WONDERFUL WRITING skills! that was my favorite i've read so far,! very well done!

    • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
      June 9
      Edit | Reply
      lol thanks for the comment euphy! i'm glad you liked this piece sis. it was based off my favorite song.


  • The Falls Sun
    May 27

    Edit | Reply

    good job

    Good job with this poem, this was just what I am looking for. I would put you on the finalists list, but unfortunately you didn't follow the contest rules, so please look them over fix your mistakes, and send me a message when you are done.
    Good job though


  • Ryan79
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    The poem is really good. I liked the way the emotions flow. I could see it happening. I could feel what you felt.


  • Dragonbabyx3
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful piece of work, and captured the song perfectly. I love the way you wrote it, like thoughts that stream through your mind, without a second glance. Great work on this one!


  • Progandother
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    ...oooooh...that song...sorry I've got a vendetta with songs (haha don't worry if anything this ups your chances)...

    ...it definetely follows the synthy atmosphere very well with the idea of a fairy tale that ends in confusion... also shown by the structure very lightly varying from 5 lines to 6 lines showing that even though fairy tales may seem perfect there will always be an underlying imperfection and flaw to them...

    ...very well done and good luck in the contest...

    Oliver

    P.S if you want a longer and more analytical comment tell me...I'm just kind of busy right now...

1 - 16 of 16