~
She steps from the carriage aglow,
evening stars that night have bloomed.
To the ballroom - plaits, ringlets flow;
crinoline, drapery festooned.
Mystery man has invited,
he woos and waits, she’s delighted.
Their lavolta steps: one, two, three -
smiles dance on their faces in glee.
~
In a list
A contest entry
- Risk it for Rispetto by Pamela A Lamppa.
1750 points, ended May 12, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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The mystery of the dance, the romance and the expression. Wonderful write.
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*sigh, the life of a dancer.
I wish I could dance.
Whats better than to feel so free and alive in your own skin. When I see a dancer or a musician, its as if I'm watching the miracle of life.
Thank you so much for sharing.
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Thank you so much Ray for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
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oh believe me, it was worth the look.
~A completely satisfied reader
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Lovely little dance here.
Thank you for your entry. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Thank you Pam.
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A rich, romantic dance
Aha! I thought I recognized the form. Seems we are competitors in this contest. A beautiful expression of this form, and it fits the contest requirements perfectly. (L2 only has seven syllables, though, as I count them; I count "evening" as two syllables.)
I love your choice of words and the way you have woven them together in a dance of their own. I especially like: "Mystery man has invited, /he woos and waits, she’s delighted." (particularly that last part).
Nice piece. You can write (me) romantic poetry anyday.
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Dear fellow contestant
Thank you BearWoman. The word "ev-en-ing" in L2 has received the sanction of the contest host. If you'll scroll down you can see she left a note validating my 3 syllable intention:
"Rhyme scheme is spot on and if I pronounce evening as E-Ven-Ing it works in Line 2 -"
Thank you for pointing that out though, most would not notice.
Paul -
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Paul~ Yes, I did see the saction, after I posted my comment! I do like how it sounds with the 3 syllable pronunciation. Misha Bear
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How lovely. You paint a delightful picture of a young girl who is perhaps attending her first cotillion. The magic of the evening is in her clothing, her surroundings, and most of all, her lucky partner. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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Thank you so much Liz for stopping by, reading and commenting.
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Love the texture and images here
Best wishes,
K
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Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
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What a wonderful poem Paul! giving us wallflowers a peek from the side, of a beautiful dance of a glowing couple with magical charisma.
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Thank you Pat.
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Beatifully done. I think the classic form of this helps to add to the sense of old romance that is so missing in these modern times.
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Thank you for commenting. I agree, I think too often the old social customs are discarded nowdays but those old values and customs were established for good reason.
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Lovely Work ...
Classical, timeless and enriched by the spirit of the poet.
Well done.
Thank you for being such a positive force.
Love
Myra
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Thank you Myra for taking the time to stop by, read and comment.
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I really, really enjoyed reading this poem! The image you paint in such a short flowing verse is wonderful. The title fits, this is a "Wonder" poem.
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank you Amera. I took some time to study Victorian fashion to get this right. Interesting how sometimes the shorter the form poem, the more difficult it is to write in order to fit as much imagination into it as possible. I know I could have doubled it or more, but I wanted the challenge of keeping it petite.
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Cinderella - a ball - dance floor - and magic. Does it get any more romantic. Imagine - all her dreams and hopes wrapped up in the woo and wait.
wonderfully simple.
Nicely done to this prompt. Soft, careful, and tender.
Rhyme scheme is spot on and if I pronounce evening as E-Ven-Ing it works in Line 2 -
"bloom’d." - I might just keep this as bloomed. doesn't change the meter and is accurate. Same with festooned.
I will be back to read this again. Feel free to tweak if you'd like. ~Pamela
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This made me feel like dancing...
it's been far too long since I have.
I have to see what a rispetto is now.
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Okay, now I see, this is harder than it looks. lol. Great job.
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Thank you K. This actually took some time. Some smaller forms are harder than the larger poems. It's kinda like fitting a size 10 1/2 foot into a size 10 shoe. Sometimes I needed a shoehorn. lol
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