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Puppet-Boy

Missing image
She's got you on her puppet strings,
you're dancing to her tune;
she licks those beautiful red lips,
you fall into a swoon.

You're her little marionette,
she treats you like a toy;
she's tangled all your wires, you're
her wooden puppet-boy...

Author notes

Title Prompt: puppet-boy by Polaja.
Image credit.
Background by the beautiful Callisto Athena.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Dragonbabyx3
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful work on this! I absolutely loved the imagery, and your word choice in this. The rhyme worked perfectly, and the background worked even more perfectly! Great work on this! Thankyou for entering it into my contest and good luck


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    June 5

    Edit | Reply
    I like this very much, love the rhyme. The last line is incorporated very well. Great poem.

    ♥
    whisper


  • LionessK silver member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    This has an excellent rhythm and flow to it. The only problem is that it was over too soon.
    Truly a great write.




  • individuality gold member
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    thanks - i like my wood, it is all swirly and grainy, it likes to be sanded down too, but only on the weekends. a good poem.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    I really love the rhyme of this it suits the poem really well! I really like the way that you told this story so sensually as well, and the tangling of the wires image was stunning!


    Polly


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    I love the poem... Such a refuge to know that at least one person on the site doesn't suck at rhyming That background is gorgeous too... Did you make it yourself? Good luck

    Laura

    • DramaQueen469 gold member
      May 26
      Edit | Reply

      I wish; Callisto Athena made this one... I'm fairly in love with it myself
      Thanks for commenting hun!

      Maria


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic rhyming mate!
    I really like how the background blends with the words nicely and the imagery within ... the mocking tone in the words, fabulous!

    Best of Luck
    ♥
    Stay safe
    ~Manda


  • Valley Girl silver member
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic write. I liked the flow and the rhythm to this piece. Great job. Thanks for the comment, best of luck in the contest.

  • montez gold member
    May 8
    Edit | Reply

    Very good, but..

    ...much too short IMHO.
    I think you could have expanded on the theme.
    R.

  • William Harrigan
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    Manipulation Mannequin eh? well, that sells a one ticket to your heart I suppose, I can vouch for that one.

  • Bruce silver member
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    Nice! Loved the rhythm and the rhyme!

  • Asabouros.
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not much for rhyme, but this was rather enjoyable. granted, maybe a bit of an over-done idea... puppets and all, but I like how you did it; short and with a decent vocabulary.

    i really like the second stanza more than the first, mostly for how you've put the 'you're' on the third line, not the fourth, and for the word 'marionette' (because the subject is male, and that word has a feminine connotation) I also found the contrast between 'wooden' and 'marionette' to be appealing.

    But I don't ever like to see the title repeated in the work, and I do think you could have gone more "outside of the box" with the idea.



    Good Luck in the contest


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    May 2
    Edit | Reply
    You have Polaja http://allpoetry.com/Polaja

1 - 25 of 25