Once, as I wanted to forget
I ended walking over a trail
Above an abyss, with cinder
Falling to an uncertain doom
And I met him
A minimalistic language was there
Coming from his lips, who seemed
To avoid all memories of a tool
Which made him as human as me
I liked his ways, his beast-like ways
Showing a deeper understanding
Of the meaning, of the price
Of being such a precious spiked rose
He lost all links, so he abased
To the feeling of the loner wolf
A psychosocial misfit, abandoned
But isolation made him a better man
If he could be called a man
He had to choose between two insanities:
Schizophrenia or bewilderment
Either way, he transformed himself
Into a perfect god, alone in paradise
"He had such a beautiful person inside,
yet he released it too late, for now
he is such a lonely person... a lonely person..."
My thoughts went like that, a tear was shed
And he lifted his hand, like trying to grasp it
And "such a beautiful person" was trying
To understand why someone would cry
In such a beautiful parade
Because there was hope, after all
Author notes
Based mainly on the song "No One is There" by Sopor Aeternus. Also had to help myself with three other songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfnv3xmer70 <- "Roaring Tides", from the Clannad OST.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNwikKhvvWI <- "Roaring Tides II", from the Clannad OST.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9NDWqhcbtc <- "Winter Fireworks I", from the Kanon 2002 OST.
A contest entry
- Music inspired poetry. All welcome...HOWEVER!!! by Progandother.
1100 points, ended June 8, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Clannad was such hauntingly beautiful anime specially the After Story. I can understand how you were encouraged to write this after listening to OST...so bleak. Couldn't watch Kanon after first few eps, life is already pathetic enough and Key makes cranky anime.
The end (of your poem) was emotionally uplifting(for me).....very pensive...almost philosophical.
"He had to choose between two insanities:
Schizophrenia or bewilderment
Either way, he transformed himself
Into a perfect god, alone in paradise"
You know eventually I think everyone should withdraw from this world and meditate to achieve nirvana. Gautam Buddha was/is a God. Isolation would make a better person out of all of us.
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Well done.
I like it. I wish I was as good as you. Keep up the good work. -
...THANK YOU!!!! Someone actually takes one of my suggestions...I love Anna Varney's work...
...I love how the atmosphere of the song compliments your poem...the use of a dark calmly "minimalistic" guitars and sound to cover that metaphor (nice word painting) what's more the single lines in between stanzas punctuates the calm eerie quietness...
...as for context...I assume this is about someone falling in love with someone who succumbs to the pressure of it and becomes mentally ill? Thus making the other person go through depression and in the end potentially commit suicide?
...amazingly well done...hearing Anna Varney cry while reading this is an amazingly large compliment on to this piece...clannad are also good but I get confused if I listen to two songs at once...I'm a male so I can't multi-task...
...good luck in the contest...
Oliver
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