Just To Be A Comfort To You.

All I was to you was something to hold onto until something greater happened, something more fascinating, something actually worth your time.
Then you would leave me again when you found it, suddenly, but then again, expected.
I always braced myself for the worst from you, yet you still managed to catch me off guard when you would tear me apart.
Never could I prepare myself enough for the next move you designed perfectly to throw me off, you always mesmerized me with a twist that I didn't expect.
You constantly managed to leave me me helpless and shattered, leaving me one step behind, the way it always was with you, simple days were unheard of.

Still, I would watch you captured by this new thing and convince myself that it was for the better you were gone and had moved on, and that I should too try to move on.
But how much can one mind coax and become mangled into confusion until it all becomes too much to handle?
Concentrating on not letting anyone notice that any action you ever took had effected me, and to pretend you were invisible, I tried to put on a facade that was easy to believe.
Besides, I did learn that from the best, didn't I? Pretending something wasn't there or happening whenever it so clearly was.

You could see that it was all fake, yet still remained unwavering with your new obsession, the latest thing to replace me.
Seeming to forever linger wherever I was, you wouldn't let me forget you, to escape the death grip that you held over every part of me.
Focusing on other things was not an option for me whenever you left, because you never made it one, I was still your puppet to control.

And eventually you decided that I would be something fun to play with again, something that was acceptable for you to have again, worthy of being 'yours' again.
Even against my best judgment, you had destroyed my thoughts so much that I was somehow alright with being something you didn't actually want, but a comfort for you and nothing more.
Love and lust were always mixed and mingled in my mind, two of the same thing, you did nothing to change that perspective for me.
I was the only consistent comfort that you had, you knew that I would forever be yours, after all, you were the one to teach me of the world.
Even though your world was twisted and contorted into something that no one else would be a part of.