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red onion

Missing image

 

 

 

i
she kept her eyes
  fixed
on the second vowel
until she began to feel
a pulse
along the sides
of both eyes

 

 

 

 

ii

she had rows
of blue flowers
          for veins
and she imagined
bunches of             poppies
growing around them

             quickly and quietly

 

 

 

 

 

iii

they hated
that she wasn't there
to see the grey
cemented corpse
set in an almost
comfortable position

 

 

 

 

 

 

iv

              

                  

 

             she was long gone

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Just thought I'd visit an old cliche friend

 

 

image credit

 

 

 

In a list

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • PolarbearApocalypse
    May 2
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This was dark, atleast what it conjured in my mind was dark.

    Really kick ass!


  • The Drifter
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    i, with the feel of the pulse along side of each eye bespeaks tension and being uneasy due to the situation.
    ii, Shows me a flowered outlook, yet strict, stern and unemotional--a good front.
    iii, i point of view won out. She left rrather than see the cemented corpse in the almost comfortable position.
    I like it. It is haunting which fits my mood.
    I am likely all wrong, so when you can explain your poem to me.


  • Randomly Beautiful
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    I wouldn't classify this as morbib at all. We all have to re-visit moments.


  • xeroabyss II
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    Not really so morbid, but definitely seems melancholy mooded, in a gothic setting, kind of like the old,old, old school literature from centuries passed.
    I like it...but is the fourth unfinished, or just creatively cut short ?


  • darkscorpia silver member
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting, I've never read anything about it, it doesn't make sense, yet it's beautiful, great job!


  • alpPDCjr12
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    Your stuff is always so interesting...even if it doesn't make any sense to me. Any particular reason for the title? I like the poem, but it seems so random of a title for it.

  • J Macabre gold member
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    That style of your is so cool...separating each thought or part. I've read some of your work before and it free of cliches...splendid...i love it....Great work.

  • celadia
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you write, the only thing is, and maybe it's me, but I didn't know whether the first two stanzas were from the corpse's POV. But I like the eeriness of this and the images, these are the strongest qualities here, In my opinion. For me, it just needs to be clearer.

1 - 8 of 8